ELDWIN OUI

23 Years Old

2012-01-08T05:02:00.004+08:00

1 Year Older, 1 Year Wiser, Year-old Heart

Today is that time of the year again, the time when I turn biologically 1 year older!

It's funny how it seems that it was just recently that I turned 20, leaving the era of

being a "teen". However, here I am 3 years later, 3 years older and it's funny because

back in the States most of my friends are already either working, paying mortgage, married,

independent, etc. Anyways, it really just serves as random food for thought because

the Asian culture is incomparable to that of the West, moreover studying medicine

just increases that financial dependency factor (among several others). Yet, though

i'm now 23, it's funny because I still find myself tickled at those lame jokes of

Spongebob Squarepants and feeling as much a kid at heart as I do adult in mind.

Paradoxical indeed, oh well.

23rd Versus 22nd Birthday Celebration

I usually do not promote comparison unless it has contribution to growth or change in

one's thinking for the positive. The reason for this being is that comparison is usually

done in such negative context it's utterly pointless, but for this paragraph I will shift

from the status quo dogma on "comparison" and compare last years' birthday celebration

with this years' celebration. 2011 has been one of those years filled with countless farewells,

where I had to send off not 1 or 2 but THREE very good friends of mine, not to mention losing

1 in a predicted fashion. So as expected, this year for my celebration it would be smaller, yet

beautifully quaint in a way that was refreshing - that really lifted my mood up! You see,

I was really happy with last years' celebration and it was with a good volume of people,

but I never expressed my slight disappointment because a few of my close friendscouldn't

make it that day (all for justifiable reasons). Yet, for this year with the exception of my

besties overseas I had all of those few and far whom I considered dear to my heart come

down to Seremban and celebrate my turning of 23.

Just Right! :-)

You see, it was and never was about the quantity of people present - it always boiled

down to quality and for me the latter was achieved rightly this year around. :-) But really,

what the heck is my perception on current birthday celebrations? Even more relevant,

what are my expectations and how were they beautifully fulfilled?

Birthday Celebrations - Negative Observations

The expansion which I am going to give below concern negative observations made of simple statements

of what I see and is in no way meant to criticize those that follow this particular behaviour (maybe) nor

does it disregard the possibility for exceptions (eg. mine below, blah, blah, etc.) I see celebrations done

out of convenience both temporally and spatially. It tends to involve random people who may not

even know the birthday person personally, yet comes out of polite invitation or simply as a social responsibility. I've seen enough that a birthday celebration is not thrown out of PURE joy and

genuine desire to see that person feel special for 1 day but out of unspoken obligation due to

short-term, usually temporarily-bounded close relations with said birthday person. I've also seen,

halfhearted planning and gifts given for the sake of giving or because of having received a previous gift

for their own birthday in the past. It is thrown with the underlying purpose for people to have an excuse

to escape from daily responsibilities just for the evening and not done genuinely for the heart of the

person turning a year older. There is also a tradition of giving secret recipe cakes as if it was a religious offering, as if there were no other cake shops out there that existed. Yet, this is where it gets a bit personal - what really annoys me is when attendees are exposed for their selfish and in-genuine attempts. A clear example would be when people back out because of lack of familiarity with others attending celebration or because of awkwardness of particular attendees (after all are you attending for your sake or for the birthday persons')? For goodness sake, better not to attend "la".

Birthday Celebrations - My Preferences

Honestly, with the current state of affairs and the majority of my best friends being either overseas or in KL

- I initially had no plans nor expectations of celebrating my birthday in any extravagant fashion. I was content,

with having dinner (perhaps a slightly higher budget allocated) with my close friends that were in town.

Honestly, that would have made me happy already in comparison to even having 1 of those negative observations involved in my birthday celebration (and so what if it's simple, yet I enjoy it right?) It's pretty

easy to look at the converse of each of the statements stated above as my preference but to clarify

the slight nuances, I'll proceed to stating them in point-form below:

1. Small gathering allowing meaningful chat trumps large volume/low quality of attendees

2. Simple, quiet place to have a meal +/- extra activity (depending on convenience)

3. VIP = me, VVIP = best/dearest friends

4. Pointless to have acquaintances or people who only know your birthday through FB

5. Planning/attending done by those that genuinely willing and without feeling obligated

6. Surprise or not, matters not

7. Gift or not, matters not (but if given, sentimental >>> thoughtless gifts)

8. Cake or not, matters not (I personally dislike cake, I only like the icing but for the sake of

my friends who do enjoy cake --> this is still tolerable)

9. I don't believe in birthday wishes (pure semantics and cam-whore moments only)

10. Double-wishing via SMS and FB (what is the point? Publicized social responsibility?)

This list is not a check-list en route to the perfect birthday rather different aspects of a single preference of what I expect of my birthday and thus deduction could be made as to why this years' seemingly simple/under-rated birthday celebration eclipsed my expectations in a good way. :)

"Making a Wish" for the camera

Conclusion

If any reader feels the sting of this post, re-evaluation of your own understanding towards birthday celebrations should be done. Don't complain to me, I don't care to listen for these are my rants of observations (not hallucinations) made. I thank God for these circumstances which helped to enhance

my own understanding of how I can be happy with a simple, down-to-Earth celebration. In the end, that's all that really matters out of the celebration right? This year it was memorable in its own way and i'm grateful. Special thanks to all my close friends for making that effort, I don't deserve friends like you all. :)

General Surgery Posting

2011-12-17T01:41:00.003+08:00

*peek-a-boo!*

How, I wish an excuse of "hide-n-seek" could be used to excuse my absence for the past 3.5 months. My poor blog been left to collect dust once again, but i promised myself I will be more hardworking to update my blog as I start Internal Medicine next week! It's my life that i'm living out now and reflecting on it through my blog helps me consolidate my thoughts in one sense and also let's my dear friends know what's going on in my life. That's pretty much my motivation to continue on with this, though i'm pretty hooked on Twitter and Facebook right now. :-)

I'm getting Iphone 4S pretty soon, so expect more pics with my posts! It sure will help spice up my posts as I type out my thoughts, but enough. Today was the final day of a 7 week posting in General Surgery (Semester 6) and I want to reflect on it. But first, some basics! (FYI)

General Surgery @ IMU S'ban
The Basic Structural Layout
In IMU Seremban Clinical School, we are given 7 weeks of attachment in three surgical wards at Hospital Tuankku Ja'afar (3A, 3B, 8B). In Malaysia, general surgery includes: abdominal, thyroid, breast, external genitalia, kidney and peri-anal pathologies. This was our scope that we had to experience, learn and expected to gain competence in clinical evaluation (Hx/PE) of. 7 weeks is hardly enough time to do abdominal pathologies as there are so many ddx, but through persistent hardcoring; coverage of said topics was marginally possible. We had experienced senior lecturers (mainly professors of surgeries, eg. head of MRCS Msia, Pres. of Malaysian Surgeon Society), guide us through bed-side teaching, case presentation and task-based learning. Every effort was made to push us to become independent thinkers and pursuers of skills and theoretical knowledge and I think it was this almost abusive approach that pushed us to learn so much as compared to being spoon fed. I can see the wisdom behind the structure of the curriculum, because it's aimed at us being able to correlate and appreciate the clinical findings to the background theory so we can come up with possible diagnoses that we can actually defend and explain ourselves to.

Viewing an X-ray, "Sban-style" without an XRAY box. (LOL)
My sr was teaching me about "air under the diaphragm" signifying perforated viscus.

The end-of-posting exam itself was nothing short of intense, roughly an hour was given to us to clerk a patient chosen at random in one of the wards by taking a focused, systematic history + PE. Then we had a 1on1 viva with the professors who will ask us our possible diagnoses and justification. Expect to know how to explain deeper than just a 1 off sentence because often we would get fired and penalized for lack of confidence/knowledge of defending said diagnoses. The examiner would then ask us logical investigations we would want to carry out to confirm diagnoses, and WHY (eg. FBC, RP, Serum Amylase, CT TAP, USG, etc.) Once again, it's all about justification to the maximum - because they want us to think instead of regurgitate a list of differentials for epigastric pain (which any dumbass could do). We are then asked how we would manage the patient (eg. fluid resusitation, surgical approach, etc.) and grilled about 5-10 questions which are to gauge the knowledge of our theory that is related to the case. Oh and it doesn't matter if you get a patient that can't speak Malay, Eng, Chinese...we are expected to find out some way to extract information despite the circumstance as we are expected to be proficient enough to handle those situations just as a houseman would! >.< In my exam a few days ago, I had to communicate mainly through emblems which was a pain in the ass but necessary lol!

First CSU Session on SUTURING (chicken skin used)
- What you're seeing is a continuous suture (left) and interrupted suture (right) -

My Opinion
Honestly, i was pretty surprised at how much I enjoyed myself in surgery. I've been actively considering viable options for specialty since the end of phase 1 and i've so far confirmed that the important criteria for me would be: 1. Flexible time/time for family and church. 2. something i had interest in (eg. GI, neuro, Nephro) 3. Useful in Malaysian setting (as i plan long term to stay here!). So how did it fare?

Hospital Kuala Pilah Attachment
(Me, Geena, Wei-yee, Kelvin)

General surgery is way more interesting that I gave it credit for, i've gotta admit. First thing that I liked was the direct continuity of patient dx --> tx. Secondary health-care, in general allows you be a part of the whole process from admission (making the diagnosis), interpreting investigations (redefine diagnosis/severity) to actually treating the patient. The thing, I love about surgery is the fact that more often than not it allows for definitive treatment. Cholecystitis 2dary to multiplie cholelithiasis? Ans. Cholecystectomy. It is a discipline which allows the surgeon to PHYSICALLY get involved and remove the problem and it is usually more straightforward than what physicians have to face (which is usually more abstract). It also doesn't just focus on the mental dexterity but also digital dexterity. The skill of precise JUDGEMENT cannot be emphasized greatly enough during surgeries to ensure appropriate margins in tumour resection or a laparascopic gastric ca staging - it is for DOERS as much as it is for THINKERS. Another thing, I enjoyed is that it allowed a lot of exposure to GIT (which i really liked!) and renal medicine (which is another interest i am exploring atm). It is said that surgery is for those that are decisive and confident and this rumour proved true during my observation. It is honestly challenging enough that it is really enjoyable and at the same time straightforward enough that it really helped me appreciate anatomy more than ever! Dare I even say, anatomy became more beautiful as i went through surgery... the blood supply, lymph drainage and nerve supply suddenly all made sense!

Surgery Sub-posting Group
(Kelvin, Julaika, Wei-yee, Geena, Me, Jolene)

Overall, i'm so grateful for the numerous nice houseman which I had the chance to befriend. The lecturers were all capable and fit the bill as role models in most situations - i really have no complain about their competency and teaching. I felt every so humbled by every experience I had with the patient and grateful for for every single of them who cooperated with me in my learning; especially the 5 patients who i did DRE on. It is because of these opportunities which will help me later on in life as I work. However, the major turn off of surgery for me was the LONG hours. Surgeons are intense, do doubt. But, i question how well their family situation is at home... it seems pretty hard to have any life when you have to be in the wards by 7AM and leave for home at 7PM. By the time you reach home, you will just be dead tired and that is not mentioning the fact they are called in the middle of the night a lot of the times. The hours are definitely volatile to any1 wanting to commit time to family and church and it is that puts me off from this specialty thought i enjoy it so much. :-( It's still early, let's see how the next 2 years go!

Hospital Port Dickson Attachment

Future Topics
I have been itching to write for quite some time now and here are some of the topics bubbling inside my mind:
- Family Medicine Posting
- Seremban Clinical School (The Transition)
- Clinical School Politics
- "If one day you woke up, unable to talk/move?" - based on a true story

The Little Boy and His Fireworks

2011-08-18T00:31:00.001+08:00

*dud*

The wooden door slammed fast shut behind him as he walked back into his room. The door swung just as swift as the flick of his wrist which thrusted it into its position. Promptly, instinctively it was done to ensure a single layer of sound-proofing that would aid in filtering away sounds from the external environment.

The boy had enough.

He typed away at his keyboard as fast as his tired fingers would let him. He would write a short story, he would chat with his friends, he would look through folders upon folders of happy memories to help him escape his current one.

The boy had enough.

Fireworks and explosions may both sound the same, but they are not. Fireworks and explosions are for different functions although both derived from gunpowder and dependent on the usage of knowledge of igniting a combustible substance. Fireworks are a spectacle and ignited on special occasions. Explosions are used to destroy or create. Yet, it lacks the beauty of fireworks. The boy remembered how much he would love to see the fireworks from his porch on the 4th of July.

*flips to the next photo*

"Explosions" of another sort were happening all around him. Some far and unfortunately some closer than he'd like. The boy longed to see those "fireworks", to remember them and then he realised how important good times were in times of bad ones. He put on his ear-buds, snugged in so tight that it could go in no further if tried. He turned on his music in an attempt to make everything else fade away, just for a while.

The boy had enough.

He closed his eyes and whispered a prayer, words trickled out of his lips just as a loose water faucet. The boy knew not what to say, but knew how he felt. And then, he found comfort not in his music, not in his photo albums but in his Lord Almighty who he knows has went through worst. He knew God wouldn't test someone without already knowing the result, it was a manifestation of his providence. And the boy found comfort in that.

The boy could now honestly say he "had enough" and closed his eyes. The fan spinning fast above him and blowing at him, cool wind. And then all he heard was the gentle whirring of the fan, which was his dream.

"Learn"

2011-08-12T15:16:00.001+08:00

One Hell of a Short Clip of the Week - Attitude of Learning
I saw an amazing video via a recommendation from a really tight friend a few days back. It was a set of 3 videos each only 1 minute long portraying these guys' amazing, once-in-a-life time adventures 11 countries in 44 days! Here's the catch, along with the upbeat background piano piece and the theme of "move", "eat" and "learn" shown from many video clips pieced together - it made for an inspiring piece of media (I would say).

See for yourselves: :)

STA Travel Australia - Learn

I guess it would make much more sense why I decided to blog about this rather than just tweet or facebook it (which I already did), if I proceeded on with a prelude.

Prelude - Learning (way back then)

My attitude towards learning and trying new things when I can have been made pretty clear through the way I try to live my life and i'm sure a large pile of evidence on my blog would back up that claim. But when did it all start? Because, I used to be the reclusive type which fancied and enjoyed nothing more than to stay at home playing Everquest (popular MMORPG game in the States) or Halo on my XBOX. That would be enough. I would say though I was easily contented, never really had to push myself for anything because I was brought up with the idea that STUDIES and friends were my life and that was enough. There's nothing wrong with leading a simple life as long as you're happy mind you, so i'm not trying to get on anyone's bad side. But slowly as I grew up and well could say use my brain more to think about what else lies beyond my 4 walls, I called a home did I really start changing the way I "learned".

Dr. Archike and I
(Undoubtedly, one of the most passionate pharmacology lecturers I've had.)

Learning (back then)

Being picked out of a quiet, peaceful suburb in a hick town situated in a Southern state famous for it's "rolling plains" and thrown into another quiet town of Tampin half-way across the world was a catalyst for that. I changed rather drastically since I came back from the States, I was forced to adapt and at perfect timing too because at 16 it was about that time of life where most of us are trying to work through our own identity crisis stage. To focus on the topic of this post, one of the ways I changed was also my outlook on learning and slowly I became more outgoing and engaging. Slowly, I went from being the last person to raise ones hand in volunteering to becoming the first. Bit by bit, I would not just volunteer but be in the organizing role or various other roles of responsibilities. Suddenly a whole new world was now perceived by my 2 eyes which have been curtained over for since...well the last time I can remember. Anyways, I said baby steps right? :) And, as much of a "jakun" I may have sounded back then i'm glad i'm not still the same in that sense.

Joyce's New Zealand Farewell @ LCCT

Coming into IMU, I knew this was another phase of my life...my UNIVERSITY life would be one to be remembered and definitely would be one of the highlights of my life. We always hear of those that long for their days in Uni to be repeated when they all start working, it's just less stress, less grown-up stuff to think about (eg. life-savings, taxes, rental, bills, etc.) By now, my attitude towards learning had nearly been corrected 180 degrees and all there really was left was just a need for new opportunities to apply that and I relished at the thought of all these new doors that would open when Uni started. Even before stepping foot in orientation, I remember the night before taking a look at the time-table and I knew it would be where momentum would be established for the beginning of this chapter and so when the chance raised calling for a group leader and then shortly after a batch rep, I gladly and enthusiastically grabbed the reigns as the chance presented itself. I never regretted any of it, looking back and a lot of elaboration was already given on "The Batch Representative" post. And of course applying my new approach towards learning was not limited to these two experiences, it stretched from the little things done on road trips (that others would perceive as mad) to every event (big or small) throughout the 2.5 years so far which have been documented on my blog thus far. However...

Justin's Bowling Outing - HAHA.

Learning (now)

As of lately, I really learned how to appreciate the simple things and sometimes that meant going back to the reclusive Eldwin I was "way back then". Sometimes it meant actually spending the whole day at home, resting, watching TV, reading Times or whatever it may be. Some call it "rotting", I suppose i'm being nice when I say it's purely R&R. But, something had changed and I couldn't put my finger on it for the past 2 months but watching the above video it helped me to do just that. I realised, that being "yes-man" I slowly became "no-man". No to this and no to that, I conveniently avoided situations where I knew it would require a large investment of time and energy simply because I just wanted time for myself (eg. exercise, read the bible or just read articles). I wanted more "me" time and that little seed really began to grow when busy-ness was at its pinnacle in sem 5 and I was stressed beyond my own health. On default, I had still be practicing my attitude of learning and saying YES when I can and at the same time being wise and learning to say NO when I couldn't. So it was no longer "Yes-man" or "No-man", I had become "Yes-No-man". I was never on the fence, I knew I would do it if I wanted to and COULD and knew when it was beyond my limit but it still didn't really explain why I had started escaping from certain responsibilities and not finding joy facing these challenges as I had previously sought them.

YZ & YL's PD Birthday Celebration (7-8.8.2011)

Conclusion

I had forgot the REASON for this attitude of learning and watching the video served as a timely reminder indeed. What began my veracious appetite towards learning new things and essentially being in the driver seat of a trip we all have to take called, "life" was realizing that there was more beyond those proverbial 4 walls. For most of us, the physical 4 walls do little to stop us but really it is the walls we cannot see that we must learn to see beyond. Just taking a good analytically look of one's life, we notice we all have walls. It's the norms that we have so comfortably adhered to all this while, it's the subconscious desire to reject anything foreign in one's life, it's what we focus on so much that we might actually forget for a brief moment there are many things out there to seek, to explore. It's these brief moments which slowly merge to form a series of moments which eventually makes up our attitude towards learning.

Wunster & Eldster
(Still can't believe how far we came since Sem1. ^.^)

So as a refresher for myself, learning is appreciating the beautiful and ugly things that God has created and making good use of the brain i've been blessed with. So I may suck at remembering dates, phone numbers heck even medical facts sometimes but we all know how to appreciate the many different things around us don't we? I hope we do, I hope I still do because watching the video above has re-stimulated my passion for learning. It has made clear once again the reason why my "attitude of learning" is the way it is and to embrace it head on, when faced with any challenge rather than squirm away from the fear of added responsibilities or hardships. My point is this, we don't need to wait for a trip around the world that costs USD30,000 to invoke this attitude in us. We need not such a rare moment like that to inculcate this attitude of learning, because truth be told not many of us will get to realize a dream to travel the world. Rather, let's take note we are on a trip ourselves, remember that trip we called "life"? Let us embrace the trips we are all making our way on now and not wait for the "ultimate road-trip" to spur us in this renewed attitude towards learning. Boy am I glad I saw this video. :)

Chua and I Checking Out the Sunset

O' Hols

2011-07-31T02:28:00.000+08:00

It's official. With the proverbial clock tower chiming at the strike of 12 and as we enter the final day of July, it's really no short of a good reminder that I have one month of holidays remaining. This would break the record for the longest holiday in my academic career since I've been in Malaysia, on the run to make it 3 complete months and in what ways have I squandered or not squandered 66% of my holidays?

M109 Batch Futsal Game (Mid June)

1. Rest and Relaxation
After the seemingly-never-ending sem 5 marathon I ran, it once again renewed my appreciation for being able to sleep in and wake up according to my biological clock rather than my alarm clock. It allowed me time to actually turn on that picture box, that we like to call a TV and watch dozens of informative documentaries on Nat Geo and Discovery Channel. And of course, it meant giving me time to catch up on TV Series like that addictive sarcastic of an ass, Dr. House and movies (clarification, HEAPS of movies). But of course my idea of R&R has never been as simple as just sleeping and switching my brain off for months on end just to find it as hard to start as a cold car engine upon returning to the following semester. I spent a lot of time attending conferences as well, one being 2011:CTC Wisdom (Creation to Consummation, a Christian conference) and 2011 Neurobytes National Medical Quiz (medical conference) and found further clarification on my Christian faith as well as add petroleum to my burning passion for medicine. And of course, I wasn't about to stick with the nosedive that my health took when exams crept it's way around the corner. So with respect to that, I started jogging and gyming more than ever (major thanks to my juniors for giving me an exercise manual as a farewell token). So, I am encouraged with the growth I've achieved within these various aspects as well as giving my mind that rest it so desperately yearned for months earlier. :)

Tioman Bromance Road Trip

2. Farewell Friends
It was a time of many warranted goodbyes and catch-ups which this extra time provided me the opportunity with. I barely touched this topic and only superficially opened up this particular can of worms with my "Moving Out Blues" post. But, you can expect more of that to come - because what i'm deciding right now is whether or not I should actually dedicate mini-posts to my besties that will be leaving and that I felt have really shaped my experience here in IMU: Phase 1 a great deal. Anyways, it is a work in progress that's for sure. However, I won't forget the numerous times spent with friends (both in groups and 1 on 1) and all those unexpected nightly pillow talks. Surprisingly, yet till this day every hang out brings out yet another new thing to learn about them and it's refreshing indeed. Road trips like "Tioman Bromance", "MaXImus in Genting", "Ipoh Food Tour" and of course one-day outings with memorable times such as MTV World Stage (recently) that also took up precious time was spent worthwhile both literally and figuratively. I really spent every chance I could to make use of my lunches, dinners and tea breaks to meet up with friends (long lost) or best friends (there day-in-day-out) and I'm glad I did.

MaXImus @ Genting - I love my juniors!

3. Family Bonding
This was particularly important to me because being away from home so long (~3.5 years) really made me realize that reinserting myself back into my house back in Sban and getting used to my new lifestyle during the clinical phase would take more effort than previously expected. The level of freedom I had in KL, equipped with $$$ and a car would make any normal person go through withdrawal after losing said liberties and returning officially back under the roof of MOM and DAD. But, I didn't want to dwell in this fact - instead I chose to take this chance to start talking to my parents more. Instead of just always talking about academics, i really wanted our discussions to have more value, more meaning. I'm still trying to figure out how to evangelise to my parents in the wisest manner, but before doing so requires me to open up the lines of communications. Sure, we love each other but it doesn't mean we get an A for communication. Traditional Chinese families usually suck as this point but let me take this as a challenge upon myself. So efforts were made this holiday to come home, to stick myself at home and actually create a presence back in Sban and not always rushing back to KL. Effort was put into sitting down and watching TV, going out for lunch/dinner to spend time with them and progress is slow. But progress is better than regression. :) So, the future looks rather unpredictable (as always), but i'm hopeful and glad I spent this time with them.

Ipoh Food Tour - Snow Beer! :)

4. Convo Mag (?)
Ugh. 2 months into my holidays and i'm still dealing with this. The team has dwindled down to just Tay, Melo and myself and the workload is immense. As the old Chinese proverb says, "A man moves a mountain by slowly moving small rocks and stones first." It sure as hell was the attitude we applied after exams but now the stones are showing their effects of wear and tear on us. Quite frankly, I don't blame the convo mag committee's dissolution. After all, most of them were from out of town and most had VISA matters to attend with, etc. But even more frankly, we are all sick of doing the work. Yet, we are faced with the situation that over 100+ people have paid and are expecting a YEARBOOK and no1 left to do it except the 3 Musketeers. The main thing driving me to finish this is because this is the final thing i'm doing as a batch rep for my batch. It is my personal token of appreciation to the batch of wonderful people I represented and supported me throughout my tenure as batch rep up until my resignation. And besides that, based on pure principle alone it's not cool to just quit midway of something when so much effort and time has already been invested. Anyways, it is taking up way too much of my holiday time and this makes it the least favored way of the 4 main ways I spent my time during this holiday. It's no wonder that it was this experience that served as one of the final straws for me when deciding to quit as batch rep. =.='

Miss Poh's Birthday Celebration
(29th July 2011)

My First Concert - MTV World Stage 2011

2011-07-25T04:33:00.000+08:00

Did You Just Say FIRST Concert?

Indeed yes, it was my FIRST-ever concert; which immediately puts to silence those thoughts that my introductory heading was a horrendous typo. It's funny because growing up in the States, many would think that going to a concert would almost have to be a part-time hobby of mine; but on the contrary my parents were pretty conservative and strict when raising me up so concerts weren't exactly the top of my "to-do lists". However, I did manage to watch a live country performance at 6 Flags Over Texas Theme Park but that's hardly justified as a concert because there was less than 20 people present and 0% of that cardiac-pumping epinephrine. And up until a few days ago, I had it fixed in my mind that I would be taking advantage of the Groupon deal for David Archuleta VIP concert tickets for RM180 but MTV World Stage 2011 suddenly came to mind again and in 6 hours had to figure out how to secure myself a ticket. I didn't want to diddle-daddle about it and take the risk of NOT having tickets to go check out the concert so I settled paying RM40 for an otherwise - FREE ticket. No complaints on my end though, because if I wanted to get it for free I should've decided earlier rather than the night before. >.< But totally worth it! That's the story of how I ended up making MTV World Stage 2011 my FIRST concert and the people I went with just made it all the more worth it. (i.e. Colette, Kevin, Eunice) And here was the lineup:

Animal by Neon Trees - (favorite song of the night)

Pop Shuvit --> BEAST (K-pop band) --> Neon Trees (nicely fitting with I-City, Shah Alam as the city) --> 30 Seconds to Mars (headlining)

Below or Beyond, Expectations?
I guess it wouldn't be too hard to guess what the "answer" to this rhetorical question would be seeing as I dubbed it post-worthy of blogging. :) Well, it was definitely beyond expectations but then again I was pumped up from the beginning and honestly it was an MTV production which usually get these kind of things right in terms of organizing. I expected it to be heavily jammed and difficult to find parking (I was wrong). I expected registration to be a long pain in the ass (I was wrong). I expected having to protect the girls with us from "unintentional" groping (I was wrong...or perhaps "lucky" not this time). I expected to not enjoy K-pop music (I was so wrong). And finally, I expected to reach home at 3AM (wrong again). Wow! I have honestly never been so happy with being THIS wrong in my life. ;)

Alas! The tickets were in my hand. :)

But really, on the other hand - being able to meet up with friends that were just looking for a good time as well and it didn't even matter that we didn't know every band or knew every song they were playing. It's the concert feel - kinda like how watching a movie in the theaters would always give it more kick then watching it on your laptop. And to feel that energy in the audience, with their hands waving synchronously in the air, shaking their heads to the beat, wildly-high musicians working a good sweat up there on the stage singing/dancing, enthusiastic & attractive VJ hosts were definitely helpful in being my anesthetic for that back-breaking ache after standing for 7.5 hours!

Colette and I Waiting to Enter Concert Grounds

But, yes the perfect summation of wrongs and many rights (eg. everything from nearly winning an ipod shuffle after dancing in public for XPAX to somehow managing our way into the VIP section, standing like 30-40 metres away from the stage) really made this experience BEYOND EXPECTATIONS!

Eunice, Colette, Me, Kevin (Left to Right) - Pre-concert

List of Do's and Must's
Here's a small list of reminders for myself (and maybe for you guys too) for the next concert experience:

Be an EARLY bird not an ANGRY bird. :)

1. Study Google Maps in more detail next time. - definitely helps prevent getting lost en route to the location.
2. Go 2 hours earlier. - always to have extra time on your side, and don't bother lining up to register just yet, go enjoy the free Mountain Dew and be active in participating in all those free give-aways (maybe next time I will be more lucky in winning that Ipod Shuffle, TEEHEE)
3. Find out a smarter way to conceal your digital camera. - No, purse doesn't count. LOL.
4. NEVER pay for MTV World Stage passes. - Decide early on, clear your schedule, and WIN WIN WIN those darn tickets like they were supposed to be won (for FREE).
5. Make your way to the "VIP" crowd section. - Go ON TIME, inch towards the front when possible (don't push la), keep an eye out for tiny entry points (1 on the left/right) guarded by security and stick close, nearing on-air time they will temporarily open a pathway to bypass the barricades so the floor seems FULL (looks better for TV right?) and enjoy the extremely close, can't-believe-regular pass-only CLOSE proximity to the stage. :)
6. Invite more friends from early on. - The MORE, the MERRIER. Oh and make sure those friends like to jump a lot too! (It increases fun factor heaps) and get some1 light too so you can lift them up on your shoulders (Increases fun factor as well). :-P
7. Buy drinks. - By right, this should be BEFORE "5.". Trust me, expensive or not it will be what you are DYING for midway through the concert. And no second chances or toilet breaks so ration wisely because once you leave that awesome spot, you WON'T get it back. LOL.
8. Wear shoes. - Protects your precious toes from pain when accidentally jumped on several times. (Decreases fun factor for sure!)
9. Bring a cheap mini-fan. - You know, the type that they sell at A'Famosa or even Mr. DIY (I bet). Because, thousands of human bodies producing heat is enough to make that tank-top of yours feel like all tank and non of the top.
10. Quick exit. - In the middle of the last song, make your way to the back of the crowd near the exit. Trust me, you've already temporarily deafened your ears enough so an extra 2.5 minutes doesn't outweigh the 20 minutes you save on making a quick-getaway and avoiding congestion at the parking lots!

Just Depends On The Way You Look At Things. :)

Phew. I'm tired! All that adrenaline is finally returning to normal levels...well here is one happy blogger tonight. Over and out. :)

Exclamation Count: 9. Anymore, it probably would just come off as relentless "shouting" anyways. LOL. :)

MRT Logo Contest

2011-07-20T17:11:00.000+08:00

Updates
Boy, the weather in Seremban is relentless. It's crisp and hot, unlike the humid weather which Malaysia often claims to have only. I will seriously have to get used to this temperature and sure does make me glad that I made my RM45 investment for a SHORT-sleeved lab coat. On another note, I've finally organized and fully unpacked all my stuff shall upload pics on that soon and received a good suggestion to paint my room "purple"! Wow, I do fancy lavender to a certain extent so perhaps that is a choice to consider. LOL, but having my room painted as PURPLE would just be epic funny or am I just be colour-sexist? Anyways, those are just a few updates which provoke my thoughts on picking up Twitter seriously. Heh, maybe I shall just stick to it for Malaysian Traffic info and World News updates for now. :)

MRT Logo Contest

So, I heard on the radio about this contest just last week and I thought why not give it a shot since it is holidays anyways? Yesterday afternoon, my bro and I spent about 1.5 hours and came up with this logo. It's simple but we wanted a colour combination that would catch people's eyes from afar. Also, the train speeding off into the bright light is supposed to symbolise the direction of Malaysia towards a brighter future for the advancement of efficient, reliable and quick public transport for the citizens. Anyways, loads of other great logos up there on the website so feel free to vote for whichever logo you wish! After all you can vote unlimited times but limited to one vote per logo, so do me a favour if you do want to support my brother and I just click on the link below and look for my logo by "eldwinoui" and press vote! It's as easy as that.. currently the logo is on page 1, 5th row, 5th column but it will shift as new logos are uploaded on the site so do help vote if you don't mind. :)

Our MRT Logo!
"Nice and Simple was our aim." :)

Thanks again for those who show their support for one of my mini-projects on this long hols. :)

"Moving Out Blues"

2011-07-16T18:21:00.003+08:00

"Relieved" is the word that described my raw feeling most when I managed to find a replacement for my room with just 2 days left to spare in the month of June. It had to be the most complicated and taxing case of moving out in comparison to my good friends...EVER. And just to obtain my deposit and ensure my housemate continues to enjoy his current room in that very same unit. But this is lesson well-learnt and heavily reminded over these last few months to please get a contract when renting out any form of residence! Just 2 and half years earlier, I blogged about the ordeal of being psyched into getting the apartment because of starting the search so last minute.

Virtual Tour of my Old Room

My Ex-Room *painted blue by my own brush!*

However, bad omen or not - my room was filled abound by many great memories! My room served so many purposes along its 2.5 year-long tenure. Sem 1 = it served as my personal gym where I would curl my dumbbells, Sem 2 = it allowed my best friend Rakib to crash for almost 1 month when he had no place to stay, Sem 3 = stage for my surprise birthday present which included toilet paper-ing my whole room, Sem 4 = pranks using the "i think something is leaking in my bathroom" line and Sem 5 = watching horror movies using my 3-amp stereo speakers with friends. Those were just some of the highlights but most importantly it was MY SPACE. That's right, a space of mine that i didn't have to share. It was a space of mind I proudly proclaimed was mine and decorated it as such and even went as far as branding it with my name when I painted the room blue in semester 2.

"Eldwin" stamped on a beam in my room. :)

It was my safe haven for several years and honestly it was more comfortable than even my room back in Seremban. But moving out also requires me to move on and it has been a good 2.5 years. After all, it was not entirely the room which made it hard to let go; deep down it was the friends made along the way and having to say goodbye to them which was made conclusive in moving out.

So next thought on the list, what colour should my next room be? Mango-peach colour or light turquoise? :)

The Teacher

2011-05-07T23:29:00.001+08:00

Culture Shock
After being back here in Malaysia for the past 6 years, I feel myself adapting pretty well - though it started off rough. I guess I had to get on the ball pretty quickly after being asked if I supported George Bush (US President at that time when I first came back) by a gang of "Malaysians" in Sekolah Kebangsaan (government school). It was definitely one of my bookmarked moments in my head during my first year back.

It's not surprising that there are a multitude of differences halfway around the world, however one thing I did notice is the career choice preference difference between Asians and Westerners. In the States, you get people saying "i want to be a marine biologist, architect, entrepreneur, teacher, policeman" etc. Over here, for those capable of scoring a string of A's at SPM/GCE (or whatever O-level programmes) usually end up choosing from the famous "tetrad" i.e. doctor, engineer, lawyer or accounting. Of course, there are many who genuinely choose based on their passions however there are just as many who I wonder sometimes why they really chose these supposedly more famously "taxing" courses with the way they complain about what they have to face (more on this in another post). I mean did you walk into medicine, thinking it was going to be a breeze in the park and everything would resemble Grey's Anatomy or House? Or did you just give into the pressures of Asian mentality/expectations and societal views? Let's leave that for those people to digest or in-digest.

Teacher - Another Noble Profession
Back in the States, teachers are well-respected. Most teachers actually have a degree and they honestly enjoy what they teach. They enjoy watching that blurred students' faces turn around when they finally "get it", like a switch suddenly turned on. Well, here in Malaysia, we don't really exactly LOOK DOWN on teachers but we don't exactly give them the due respect they deserve now do we? Alright, probably some of those raised by teacher-parents (like myself) would be slightly biased but it's true. Let's face it. Nowadays, more and more do I see teachers just giving up on the students and not taking a genuine interest in teaching the students. Is it really their fault? Parents judge whether a teacher is good or bad based on the quality of the results that their children get in exams. Do they pause to think for a second that perhaps education has and always will start from the home and radiate outwards? That the teacher can only do so much and a teacher is bound by (i don't know being a normal human being that does have a patience threshold and expendable energy reservoir)? It's a tough job, it's not as easy as a 8-5PM job or "makan gaji" as some say; and they deserve credit. For myself especially, I was always grateful my parents placed importance in a holistic education from me and that meant sometimes teaching me during summer break when my friends spent every waking hour playing the Nintendo 64. I appreciate it so much more now than I was mature enough to understand back then! It really helped to shape my attitude towards learning and "studying" and probably all those with teacher-parents could relate.

Salutes to Mum and Dad
After helping my mom out with her tuition today, it really reminded me of two things and one was to appreciate the jobs that teachers have to do and in that appreciating both my parents much more. They were always honest, hardworking and they loved the education field. I really salute the amount of patience they have with the students and after talking to my parents asking them if they had any regrets teaching their whole lives, my dad said to me, "It's true we didn't plan to get into teaching for a lifetime, but somehow it happened and we learned to love it. So do we have any regrets? No we don't, we are having comfortable lives and both our sons turned out well. It's more than enough to be happy". And, I remember him saying this sometime last year and I never forgot it. My parents have always worked hard to give me everything I need/want AND to give me a chance to study what I love even though it's one of the most expensive courses to choose from. They may not say "i love you", but in my family this has always been one of the glaring reminders that they love my brother and I a lot. I love my parents more than I feel comfortable showing sometimes, but i'm trying to make a change (perhaps with slight reference to the "To Know or Not Know" post) and i'm making a collage for mummy's day tomorrow. One of the reasons, I can't wait to graduate is so that I can start slowly taking care of my parents instead of them always having to take care of me. It a part of growing up, but I really feel that I want to do this for them.

I appreciate so much what they both sacrificed for my brother and I and if you don't tell your parents you love them enough, then please do so. It's never too late to start, i've just started so what are ya'll waiting for? Go on, tell them now. :-)

Mum, "little" bro and Dad (left-to-right)

Happy Mother's Day

Love,
Your Elder Son

"Dare To Believe"

2011-05-04T03:30:00.001+08:00

We cannot ALWAYS be flying on cloud 9 or live at an all-time high throughout our lives.
We will have downs just as much, but just when you hit rock-bottom, remember that there is only one way to go from there and that is UP.
Fall as we may, let us pick ourselves up again and BELIEVE that things will get better.

It may not feel that way and it may be scary as hell to pick up and move on for fear of falling again,
but perhaps that's the entire point of the fall in the first place.
Just maybe, it was to remind us how to appreciate the times that we are high and to realize things will move on even if you don't.

So we can either remain fallen and curled up in fear forever and never live to see the ups of life again,
or we can choose not to be left behind.
Let not the initial fall be done in vain, because you know what?

I choose to BELIEVE.

To Know or Not Know

2011-04-30T22:48:00.001+08:00

Clear as it seemed those days,
Thought I knew.
Dark as it seems these nights,
Now I know I didn't.

Success in nothing but lying to myself,
Saying it was all fine.
I said I was fine.
I acted as if I was fine.
I felt I was fine.
I BELIEVED I was fine!

Part of growing up, realizing peoples' true nature,
Was it not just that?
Growing apart, moving on,
Was it not all just that?
They come and go, it's fine
I thought I could take that.

But cold as I seem outside,
Indeed i'm temperate inside.
They come and go, we all know.
But, accept it on its terms I could not.

Lives affected, like it or not.
Trust so difficultly gained,
Was so easily lost.
Partly to blame was me.

Not to my knowing, was my heart scarred.
Damaged beyond awareness,
Hidden behind my logic and cognition.
Unknowingly, I sought to bury the pain.

Buried under all my tasks,
Shields guarding my heart.
Not even she who I loved,
Not even they who I loved,
Ever saw this dusty heart.
Hidden deep and light did it see so rarely,
Atrophied due to disuse.

All this and still I noticed not,
Awaken from the years long coma.
Damage reversible or not,
Honestly, I know not.

To know or not know,
More like to know I didn't know.
Feeling lost, indeed I do.
Those lost for good?
Indeed I hope not.
Things fallen, too late?
To know or not know,
This.... I do not,

Skylar Grey - Love The Way You Lie
(I like this version way better)

En Route EOS5

2011-04-22T04:11:00.002+08:00

Dearest blog, how i've missed you!

MaXImus, Tej and I @ IMU Ball

I just came back from another midnight study session at McD. It was productive and partly the reason as to why i'm back home earlier tonight and able to type this post. :) So let's get cracking!

Introduction
It was just ~ 2 months ago, when I blogged about "En Route Semester 5" and it's mind-boggling that it's ONLY been 2 months when it feels like it has been at least twice that duration. For the past few weeks, i've noticed a series of changes that I'm going through as well as the people around me and whether good or bad I guess will be pretty evident once I start elaborating on my observations. However, it took me several weeks of noticing and in fact finally deciding to write this post to serve as an encapsulated version of what has been happening as well as serve as a healthy reminder for myself.

2 of the most lovely Singaporeans I know (Shiyan & Siow-yi) and I
@ IMU Ball

Expectations Versus Reality
Reading back on my previous 2 months ago post, I remember attempting to give myself multiple reality slaps in an attempt to pump myself up for the craziest semester for me thus far. I also recall reminding myself of my 2 foci that I wanted to place more emphasis on this semester which was academics as well as friends. It's halfway through CNS, which means nearing the end of sem 5 and how did I fair? Serious effort was placed into keeping up with my notes because it was just an onslaught of activities from orientation --> IMU ball --> batch rep duties --> convo mag --> batch video --> inter-batch basketball tournament, etc. It was non-stop and that's just the extra-curricular stuff, honestly I am TIRED. No, not tired because I only had 5 hours of sleep the night before, but just tired from everything and then the Slow Dance post helps me to appreciate the slowed down pace of things starting from 2 weeks ago. So those situations left me with basically no revision done on semester 3 or 4 UNTIL NOW. In terms of spending more time with friends, i've definitely made more effort and even told them how much they mean to me! I find myself telling my friends more things like "i missed you!", "i appreciate you..like really!" or "I love you as a friend! :)" It that aspect, things are going well and I'm quite happy to a certain extent but with the backdrop of EOS5 looming like a lochness monster..

Some of the M109 guys and I
@ IMU Ball

Just Another Exam?
To many EOS5 is just another exam and honestly, I salute those that can say that and genuinely mean that in both word and action. Because for me, it's definitely the most taxing professional exam thus far as it involves the testing of 9 systems! And also a part of me not letting my self just chuck EOS5 as "benign" is so that I would get my ass moving and study at an appropriate pace. But hey that's, just me. For others, it means a lot! Because it could define whether or not they get into the biomed programme which they are gunning for and in general with so much being tested you would have to be either super prepared or abnormally numb to the fact that EOS5 is a big exam and important as "unimportant" as it may seem 2.5 years down the road. It's each step you take that brings you nearer to the destination, no one can just zoom through. And it would be nice to know or at least have some form of affirmation that you know your theory to at least meet the basic expectation of theoretical knowledge a 3rd year medical student should posses. It true when people say, just because you know theory doesn't mean you will do well in clinical school. But, then again having a strong base in theory would definitely help in connecting the dots and yes having knowledge is better than having none. Because if knowing theory doesn't guarantee competency in clinical school what more lack of knowledge of it? However, because of these stated circumstances it has forced many ugly sides to be seen and I've been witnessing them (and hopefully not partaking in them as well) as exams drew closer.

We Make Men In Black Look BAD...:P
@ IMU Ball

Ugly Manifestations
As everyone slowly shifted into exam mode, i've never really seen a transformation like this. I mean to a certain extent it's normal is it not? People are becoming more selfish, self-centered, less willing to help other and incredibly time-conscious to an almost OCD-like level and it's sad that I have to admit I've even became some of the very things which I've listed out. I can give a list of justifications of why, but then I would just be denying the problem at hand still. I mean, friends who used to care whether or not you showed up for lectures even stop caring to a certain extent. I mean how can you, with so little time on hand? People who expect you to do all the 'busy' work of booking, planning so that they can just free-load and make excuses when asked to help. People who couldn't give a shit less that the same people are presenting time and time again and they're not willing to just because "they need time to study for exams". People that stock-pile PYQs and pretend not to have or are unwilling to share. People that count the very minutes that they spend for a meal even when it is spent with a friend who they've not spoken with properly the entire week. People that waste their freaking time and then sarcastically ask "how many rounds of reading is that for YOU" to ease their guilt and insecurity. These are the people i'm sure we all tend to face during exam times, but multiply that by like 2-3 fold because it will be exactly what you encounter in sem 5 (more or less). What's more? Most of these are FRIENDS *face bump*. I apologize but it's just so damn annoying to deal with people like this and as exams draw nearer, the frequency of such things just increase (duh) and it's no surprise then that I flee to the seclusion of the "Study Igloo" at driveway.

Charlotte and I
Under Chandelier @ IMU Ball

Reflection
At this point, i'm quite calculative with my time spent for things outside study but i'm still allowing flexibility for meals with friends on alternate days, listening to friends' problems even getting 1-2 gym sessions out of the packed week. But, to a certain extent I don't blame them for being slightly selfish you kind of have to get into your own zone and phase out other people when you study or you will just wander aimlessly. But, that is no excuse for being completely inconsiderate in your actions and when a batchmate asks me for help I would help if I can. I know I have to study, but I also know so does the person on the other end and if a group project task is given to us then I would rather sit down and plan out the workload fairly so that we BOTH have time to prepare for exams. I need to remind myself every day with this post, not to become the epitome of the ugly manifestations which have been slowly encroaching upon everyone within the past few weeks. I do worry that I will forget because I definitely could have the potential to become an even more severe form of what i've described above because as less and less people seem to "care" it's really hard to be one of the few that still does. And it's even harder to remain "considerate" among these situations but it's times like this I see which friends are made of worth and which are made of wax and simply "melt" under the heat of exams. Seniors weren't joking when they said sem 5 would be like hell. I just need to remember that this 'hell' is nothing compared to housemanship, so if I can't handle this what more then?

Party Scene @ IMU Ball

God, help me remember that this is such a minor plot in the much larger plot you've already set in motion.

A Night To Be Remembered
M109 @ IMU Ball

All the very best to my friends, I will be here to help as long as it is reasonable and within my capabilities.

The Batch Representative

2011-04-02T13:56:00.003+08:00

In the Beginning

The Guys of M109 (Right Lateral Flexion of the Cervical Vertebrae)

SRC President: "Who do you guys want to nominate as your batch rep?"

"It is an important job...and it's definitely not easy"

Melody: "ELDWIN!"

This was HOW it all started.

Why YES to Being Batch Rep

I still remember vividly the 2 weeks of adrenaline-high, that filled my MEDT109 - Boot Camp orientation. It was tough and "expensive" (all the SMS-ing and calling) to be the leader because being in such a role either draws favour or discontent from the group. It's rarely ever neutral. I was far from perfect because at times, I think I focused a bit too much on accomplishing the task at hand rather than my bonding with the others. However, I tried my best and failed several times only to learn from my mistakes and really I grew a lot from being placed in that leadership role.

The Guys of M109 (after 5 semesters)

So I was taken aback when my college buddy, Melo volunteered my name up to be the possible M109 batch rep. As I walked down the Audi steps, literally dragging foot after foot I was thinking "what the hell did Melo get me into..". And then it hit me, though being batch rep would essentially add extra responsibilities to my shoulder; a perfect advantage for me was that I would get to meet my batch-mates on a greater scale than I probably would have been able to do if I was not elected batch rep. So, I took a small gulp of air and gave the shortest (~10sec) speech saying what I would do if I was elected as the batch rep and the next thing I knew I was taking orders for Marieb and deciding the lecture notes distribution system. :-)

Retrospect

Almost 5 semesters have come to an end and of all semesters, semester 5 has been the all-time busiest but in a peculiar way one of the funnest semesters thus far. This semester academically was crazy enough with the com. med. module which required field research + 60-page-long report. But, hey let's just add two of the toughest systems in there too, called MSK and CNS and give them 2 weeks after Sem 5 summative to prepare for EOS5. However, the batch rep duty has required me to organize a mock PMS matching, multiple announcements/briefings/rescheduling/convo mag/batch video among many other things to keep me occupied and had successfully nullified my revision plan for sem 3 and 4.

The Video-Editors Behind the M109 Batch Video *Coming Soon!*

But did I regret?

I suppose just as any normal person the natural tendency to stress out was definitely there for me. But, honestly I have absolutely no regrets. For whatever reason, I was placed in this role for this period of time at IMU and I tried my absolute best to give it my all and to carry out my duty as faithfully as possible with the interest of my batchmates at heart. I learned some of my weaknesses too, like sometimes not being thorough enough or not involving my committee members more often. I suppose I always had this thought where, if they didn't seem interested in helping out trying to get them to help would be more work than actually just doing it myself. A mentality which I'm trying to slowly change because life is not a one-man act. They may not necessarily liken to do certain things initially but it's not a waste to try helping them understand it's yet another avenue for growth. And I realized this, I don't care whether or not you have the skill or experience required to carry out that task. The thing that matters is whether or not you're interested to learn, because I was pushed to pick up the basics of various things which I've never really had much exposure of (eg. photo-editing, video-editing, music recording/production, etc.) I'm not "fantastic" at doing them but definitely better than if I would have just given up at the thought of doing something new.

Eldwin and Lee Wun (@ Firework - Boyce Avenue "studio-recording")

Remind ourselves of this famous quote:

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow;

Learn as if you were to live forever."

- Ghandi

Farewell Fever

2011-02-19T01:40:00.002+08:00

I'm Terrible at Farewells

Well, part of it is really just me not wanting to admit that a friend will be leaving and facing the fact that usually 99% of the time no matter how much you say you will "keep in touch", its more "out of touch" than anything. However, i've really grown to appreciate Skype over the past few months and so perhaps it will make keeping in touch loads easier with some of my friends overseas (those that just left and those that have been there for a while). Recently, 2 of my friends just flew off to Australia - and it was a healthy reminder that people eventually leave you just as certain as they would change as experiences and time shapes them. We all have our paths to walk and our paths intersect many other paths along the way. Some paths that we intersect with are nothing more than a fork in the road immediately diverging soon after. Somewhere on the other end of the spectrum are those roads that run concurrently/parallel to one another for some time allowing the exchange of footprints. Footprints that change the road we are on minutely and at times grossly.

Gripping my head for forgot what reason..LOL - Water Falls @ Cameron Highlands
(CERC Wisdom Camp 2011)

Told ya I'm Terrible at Farewells

As com med is already halfway through. I become increasing nostalgic as the end of sem 5 approaches, a time when a lot of my PMS friends will fly away. Some for good and some to come back many years, either way they won't be here already. I wish to cherish my time with those that I am close to, but recently find myself disappointed at the fact the feeling may not always extend mutually on both sides. We all have our priorities, what those priorities are show a lot about your character and consequently mindset which then your actions will flow from.

Jeremy and Grace (great people I got to get to know better at camp)
(CERC Wisdom Camp 2011)

Upcoming Posts

Temporary Home

P.S. The pics are a sneak preview of the CERC Wisdom Camp post coming up soon when I get the processing on the photos I took done. These photos were taken post-baptism, courtesy of Grace! :)

P.S.S. I actually fell asleep halfway while writing this. I apologize for any incoherence of the text.

Baby Eldy

2011-02-12T00:23:00.001+08:00

Baby Pictures
Still remember what I said about one of the things that made CNY 2011 special this year for me? Yes! My grandma handing me one of my "ancient" baby albums. Okay, it's hardly ancient but it shows major signs of being worn down by time. The album itself is a fashion definitely not from this decade or the last and the pictures themselves show that vintage yellow-brownish discolored tinge at the edges. Well, looking through the pics definitely brought a smile on my face so I shall share with you 2 of them from the album! :-)

Random baby fact #1
(I swallowed a blue square lego piece thinking it was candy. *face bump*)

I know you're probably looking at this and trying to pin-point the minute differences or features which I have still retained since my baby years. It's harder than trying to find Waldo. :) And even my mom said this to me, "You see...when you were a baby you were so CUTE... what happened?!". *sweat* I grew up and went through a thing called puberty "mi" (what I call my mom by). Well, here's one last pic for the road before I leave tomorrow at 9AM for Cameron Highlands for church camp. This year's theme is entitled "Wisdom", "Truth" was mind-boggling enough. Let's see what I learn when I come back next Tuesday eh mates? Guess Valentine's Day is going to have to wait.

Random baby fact #2
(I rarely cried as a baby, so much so even the neighbor became worried! LOL)

Upcoming Blog Posts

1. Farewell Fever

2. CERC Camp 2011 - Wisdom

adiós.

En Route Semester 5

2011-02-10T03:12:00.002+08:00

*cracks knuckles*
My fingers have been itching to blog about this topic for the past few days. With semester 5 starting on "Lover's Day", no doubt my mind has been mentally prepping myself for the supposedly, most taxing semester of pre-clinical school.

First leg of the shoreline hike - up and down the steps

(Perhentian Besar)

Expected Circumstances
Here's the low-down. It's going to be one of the shortest semesters, lasting a mere 11 weeks. We start off with a relaxing 2 weeks of Community Medicine, but I shall not be fooled! MSK (5 weeks) and CNS (6 weeks) ensue right after, NON-stop, no "holiday breaks" or whatever. Let's not even dwell on the fact that these 2 systems will be among the most densely packed systems that will strike us IMU students where we are weak at the most, our "anatomical Archille's Heel". Oh yes, and the 7 systems covered back in semester 3 and 4 won't be mugged up on their own now will they?

When we decided to go off the jungle trekking trail and traverse the northern shoreline
(Perhentian Besar)

There are also 2 events I definitely won't compromise on and that is Orientation (OO-ing all the way) and IMU Ball (technically, OUR batch's ball *diabolical laughter*...okay enough, it's just creepy now). The analysis would also be incomplete if I did not include my batch rep duties (mock PMS matching? etc.) and of course my commitment to church which is definitely something that shall not lose it's place. This also means that in between lecture times and weekends not to mention 1-2 weekday evenings, EVERY week shall make it impossible to study anything. I've also volunteered to help our with my batch's Convo Mag and albeit a small role, "sikit sikit, menjadi bukit". Need I say more? :) Well, all in all that is circumstance that I can foresee - i'm sure a few unforeseeable obstacles will manifest themselves as I go along (what fun would it be without them right?). In short, BUSY and HECTIC are going to be the most-ever-fitting names for the semester 5 rat race that is set to begin soon!

"Foci" in Mind
With all that, I just knew that I had to trim off all that "excess fat" which means re-defining my "short-term" priorities. Recently, I had applied to become a Student Ambassador for IMU. It offered paid-experiences in leadership roles and representing IMU in a range of events (small-to-big) and would be a great addition to any resume not forgetting the priceless opportunity to meet new people in IMU as well as from other universities! It was something which I wanted bad, there would be no guarantee that I would get it but I decided no harm in trying. After a week of convoluted thoughts, I decided to cancel my application as the first step of "slimming down" on the slew of commitments I have. It was the first move and several more shall follow very soon!

Hesh, Me, Rakib Pre-Snorkeling
(on the boat)

My primary focus this semester will definitely be academics. The way I see it is this, I didn't do too bad for myself the past 2 semesters. With God's help, I managed studies on top of several other things but I spread myself rather thin when it came to academics - I was always cramming last minute, I was always the dude reading from my Mama Patho when it was clearly time to be reading notes (2 days prior exams!) I'm done with that, I want to end semester 5 on the highest note possible *fingers crossed* and this is why. Entering clinical school will be a tough enough transition as it is, the last thing I want is for my theory (or lack thereof) to be the one giving me more problems than it should. So here's aiming to know at least 80% of what I should know before leaving phase 1...YAM SING! (still in the CNY mood, I know)

Me snorkling!
(in the water..just look at how blue the water is..)

Another important focus would be spending time with my friends before they all depart on different PMS paths. This includes friends that are doing Local as well, because honestly the dynamics of having PMS + Local friends together will change and it will be something that I will miss dearly! I also know that the situation will be so busy that appreciating the time left will be difficult, but that's one reason why I look forward to my somewhat large ~ 3 month-long break after sem5.

Me snorkling!
(Finally swimming with the fishes down under)

There are several more foci, but these are the ones which I wanted to specifically bring up in more detail. And of course with this means that I will be declining any further new commitments until the semester ends, I'm human and I need to factor time in for myself too! That means running around the park even when it drizzles, blabbing on this blog so I don't explode or watching Kev Jumba on Youtube to tickle my funny bone. I do it for me, because I can and quite frankly so I don't go insane.

Remember.

"At the end of the marathon, you don't slow down. You run faster than when you started off"

"You just gotta ignite...the light. And let it...SHINE!"

Cheers!

P.S. I was just being nostalgic and checking out the Pulau Perhentian photos and decided to share some which I didn't get to before! Next road-trip, is definitely in the planning process. :-)

Chinese New Year 2011

2011-02-08T00:59:00.001+08:00

Hello blog!

Well, it's slightly "belated" but I suppose until the 15th day (Chap Kor Mei) has elapsed I'm still not entirely tardy for my wishing:

Happy Chinese New Year to the Lunar Rabbit!

I heard it's supposed to be a good year for the Horse from a good friend of mine, so looks like my bro and lots of my friends has some of that Chinese "luck" on their side. :) Chinese New Year this year has been "different". I know its such an odd choice of a word but it's the perfect euphemism. Refusing to partake in my family's prayer to the ancestors have brought much rebuke on myself. But, it's fine I have to stay strong and remember why I can't take part, why I won't take part. I prayerfully hope they will accept my choice and understand why in the near future but I know this time of the year just was not the time for it.

Boy's Club..:-P

But hey! It's "Happy" CNY, not "Emo" CNY... critical analysis of that ongoing problem will have to wait. Aside from that, the celebration always involves visiting grandparents and relatives! That's always great fun. Grandparents always say the same thing, "your sons look more like you this year!" and Aunties & Uncles will say, "your sons look more grown-up!". Numerous family reunion dinners and lunches have required me to punch more holes in that proverbial belt of mine. And shandys, CNY tid-bits, "Yee Sam" all played their important roles of making me physically less fit. But amidst all the red (and sometimes PINK) ang-pows flying into my left and right pockets as they fill up to maximum capacity; I did receive one special thing during this festive holiday. My popo had discovered one of my lost baby albums as she was tidying the house, lots of naked and not-so-naked photos of my cute baby self. But, self-praise is no praise right? :-) I shall upload the pics once I get back to my Vista, 2nd home where I have access to my lovely scanner.

Boy's club invaded by my 2 aunties..:-P

So, yes when I'm asked how my CNY went - it's perfectly fitting when I say this year it was "different" to say the least.

"Nice"

2011-01-30T01:34:00.000+08:00

Trigger

I recently had a chat with a close friend of mine. For confidentiality's sake, I shall keep that person's name unmentioned (as you would probably know that person). We chatted about a familiar topic which I have blogged about twice now. However, for some reason it led me to thinking that night of one aspect of myself which has done a 180 degree turn. A change that came with consequences which I'm still trying to learn how to manage.

Rakib's Dinner right before he flew back to Canada.
(Nando's, Taman OUG)

Then..

"Nice". A word that was frequently used to describe me as I was growing up (primary --> middle school). This adjective was used so often for me that it only came second to another adjective used to describe me back then, "quiet". I know there will be 2 main reactions when reading this, either: "Hahahaha...nice joke!!" or "Eld, are you trying to talk yourself up again?". My responses to those is I kid you NOT and there is nothing to talk myself up to begin with. This was the case as I grew up, back then my thinking was this "say something nice or don't say anything at all". To a certain extent, that is a pretty safe rule to play by. How I learned this thinking is beyond my explanation because my dad (who played a very huge role in instilling good values when young) always told me to be honest even if it hurts because it wouldn't be as bad as a lie that hurts. But being only ~ 10 years old and still into Pokemon trading cards, I never really understood then why he taught me that.

Lee Wun & Derrick
(Hoi Tong Steamboat Birthday Bash)

In fact, I was so against it I still remember an instance which demonstrated this feeling. It was back in 3rd grade, in Language Arts class. Mrs. Ellis (most caring teacher ever), asked us to write a short essay response to the question "If your friend recently bought a pair of shoes which you thought looked ugly, how would you respond when your friend asks you what you think of them?". Back then, I pretty much sucked at grammar and vocabulary because the only thing I ever found interesting enough to read was either "20,000 league under the sea" or the monthly editions of my favorite zoology magazine. So yeah I cheated *pai sih* and asked my dad if he could help me out. My dad wrote me an outline and it was something along the lines of telling the friend the truth about the ugly shoes so that he/she would know and could return them to get a different pair. We were supposed to read our response aloud in front of our whole class, of course I wouldn't have read that! So the next morning, I happened to reach school early and changed the answer using the outline he gave me. Anyways, it just goes to show how important it was for me to be "nice" to everyone. I couldn't even bear to read out a response that I knew I wouldn't have said if I was in that situation.

Now..

Well, I became way more chatty when I entered my freshman year of Norman High School. And the final trigger was probably the move back to Malaysia because being the new kid basically meant having to adapt quickly to a completely different environment. 6 years of experiences later, I became who I am today. In terms of "niceness", I rarely ever hear it anymore as compared to when young. It doesn't bug me though because I do know that i've changed in that aspect. I've come to understand how precious the truth is and how much it can hurt yet when taken in the right light be edifying. I've expressed my opinion before on how I fancy being straightforward among other qualities yet i've come to the hard realization that it's downright difficult to find someone capable of taking it. As of now, I probably only ever knew of one friend who can take it. Let me tell you, i've never seen someone like her before. The way she would listen and take criticism seriously and then able to stand back look at it objectively and even sometimes agree to the harsh words being said to her. It was admirable in every sense because in return she would be just as plain honest with me because she knew that I could take it. I'm not an inanimate object, when someone says something hurtful I probably do flinch (at least). But, then I try to think "why did that person say that?" and if I can't understand I would ask the person to explain it to me and perhaps give me examples as well and after understanding I would accept it and try to make amends.

Happy Birthday guy and gal! :)

Unfortunately, like I said (i've only ever found 1+1 people like that) for me. What I have come to accept is that no matter how good your intentions are of telling that person what's on your mind, if it's something they do not want to hear; they won't. In fact, they will probably be offended and then you trying to help just becomes counter-productive to the whole situation. I don't get why people ask me for my opinion when in fact what they seek is re-assurance. I can give that as well, but then don't ask for an "honest opinion". Trust me, if you ever want to know an "honest opinion" I reckon I should be able to help you in that division. I try my best to approach it in a way that I would want others to do for me, namely: honest opinion, why I say that, suggestions on better alternatives, clarifying the intention. However, even after taking that into careful consideration it has backfired on me numerous times.

Problem?

I suppose the issues involved are pretty obvious right about now. Here I am, someone who believes that showing care to his friends is best done by giving them an honest opinion. (Now this is taking into account that the other party has already brought me up to speed with their situation/context) However, instead of helping them they are offended, they stop asking me "what I think", in some cases they don't even tell me what's going on anymore and then I realized my entire intention of telling the truth was utterly defeated. Not because the intention was bad, but because dear reader people can't take the truth. This doesn't apply to ALL, but for the majority of the population they are pretty fixed in their ways and habits; that anything that goes counter-current to it is just taken as a threat. It's a constructive critique to the very basis of that person's nature. And that is one hard pill to swallow, no matter how strong the person is.

SeXIest at Hoi Tong Steamboat

Solution?

I wish the solution was as easy to carry out as identifying the problem. All I can do now is to be as tactful as my personality will allow without becoming so fake that even I begin to gag. And, yes for my close friends who I know welcome constructive criticism, then I don't have to be so conservative. It is an odd feeling having to hold in a lot of things I want to say, but I guess at least that's one of the reasons I have this blog right?

Stolen - Dashboard Confessional
(Some songs just never get old)

This is one tired blogger,

signing out.

Penang Road-trip

2011-01-28T19:22:00.011+08:00

Road-trip Fanatic

Like all previous road-trips, I was excited. Heck, I was "hormonally charged" to say the least. Road-trips have always been something I love to do, if the time is appropriate and I have cash to spare - then why not? :) I might as well road-trip now when I have the chance, because I know as we make the transition into working life the opportunities to do so will be less (accept it or not!). However, every experience is not just made unique by the destination or the activities done - for me it's always primarily been about the people. As long as you have a group of fun-loving and controlled-yet-crazy at the same time kind of people (large or small), it can make something as mundane as watching paint dry seem fun! This group of people definitely fit that description perfectly and I have never been out for a trip with my juniors before, but that's just it! I didn't really see them as "juniors", I guess that predisposition went out the window the second I decided to become a spy. I don't know if they still see me as "one of them", with lectures and mealtimes completely mismatched but the memories shared remains vivid within me! I guess for me it boiled down to random times I do run into them and genuinely am interested when I ask "how have you been?" and not just being courteous. And, after all I'm still considered a Thri11ers Alumni aren't I? ^.^

Tickets everybody? Check!

Road-trippers

Itinerary

I guess this is where the "formalities" begin? This was a 3-day-long trip which spanned from 17th (night) - 20th (night) Jan 2011. The initial plan was to focus on making it a food-tour-de-Penang and no doubt did we fulfill that goal. My entire GI system can vouch for this! We ate nearly 4-5 times a day, and sometimes bought little snacks along the way. Everything from Penang fried kuey teow to traditionally-prepared laksa to "Hor Mee" and etc. LOL, honestly I couldn't keep track of the names of half the things I tried - I was just sampling from every1's food every chance they offered. :-) I know, such a Si Gemuk right? Thank you! Of course, with Fishe being our official tour-guide for the trip, FOOD could not be the only source of entertainment. We literally grabbed a tourist guide and walked by foot (~80%) of the time to the various destinations crossing out as we visited them! Sight-seeing was definitely one of the reasons which prevented me from gaining any weight during my food-marathon. :-) For me my favorite destination would have to either be the Kek Lo Si temple or the Batu Ferringi beach. I shall let the pictures speak for themselves!

Kek Lo Si Temple

Album 1
Album 2
Album 3

Eldwin as a Photographer

Just the "night before" the road-trip, I knew that I needed to borrow a camera and ASAP too. I saw this as a perfect chance to test whether or not buying a camera was indeed an appropriate investment for me. At that point, I was leaning more towards the Canon S95 simply because I couldn't imagine carrying around a bulky DSLR but boy was I glad at the end of the trip to have tried out the DSLR for a full road-trip. I really have to express thanks to Tay (the true photographer - hehe) for lending me the photography club's Nikon DSLR for this road-trip, a DSLR is not cheap and definitely I appreciate his lack of hesitation when lending it to me. I didn't realize it then, but it was clear to me by the last day that as much as he was helping a friend with a favour, he ultimately did more than that; he let me experience being in the soles of a photographer, behind the lens. I have to admit, it was a unique experience and definitely deepened my understanding and gratitude for all photographers out there. And, this really was my first time handling a DSLR full-time and trying my best to work with what I know how to do (which is very little). The pictures aren't exactly professional, but I hope they are able to stimulate all the positive feelings and memorable times we had on the trip! Essentially, that was my aim as a photographer the whole time, so apologize if it was not to any of the road-trippers' expectations! LOL. Below were some of the "lessons" I learned from my short stint as one. ^.^

Photographer - Lessons Learnt

1. Candid versus Pose

Taking candid photos is definitely more difficult compared to posed ones, but once successfully captured the naturalistic result becomes overwhelmingly satisfying! I totally understand now when Tay get frustrated with people posing and not just going about as if the camera doesn't exist. :-P

Boys will be Boys
(Kek Lo Si Temple)

2. Camera Shy

Just because photographers aren't in the photos doesn't mean they are shy of the camera! It definitely was different to experience things through the viewfinder. There is really nothing better then being right-smack-dab in the middle of the action, but being behind the lens did give a different reflective perspective on the overall moment. It was a 3rd person view that I was not accustomed to, but I knew that it would make the others really happy when they saw the pictures. So with that soothing notion, the fact that I was only in 15 (out of 1100+ photos taken) so much easier to accept. :-)

Group Photo
(Outside some ancestor mansion, forgot the name!)

3. New Camera Bag Appendage!

I definitely had to get used to carrying around a bag for nearly every waking moment for those 3 days. Honestly, at first it did feel a bit cumbersome but after a while I just adapted to it. And, I usually wear sport shorts without any pockets to begin with so having the camera bag and being able to store my phone and wallet made things more convenient! It does require some degree of acclimatization but in the end I didn't find it slowing me down that much, but seriously hats off to the photographers that have to carry around as many as 2-3 cameras while covering a wedding! I think for me, this is still within my adaptive capabilities so cheers for that. :-)

Heng Chuan with the Sunset as the Backdrop
(Batu Ferringi Beach)

4. Picasa 3!

With 6gigs of memory at my disposal, I definitely didn't see any point in holding back when taking the pictures. I figure as long as the battery can last, then it's always better to have extra and choose the best from the pile rather than have the smallest pile of photos to deal with. :-) Of course, that meant more "processing" post-trip and all in all to sift through the photos, rotate, pick out, edit (~110 of my favorite ones) and upload took around ~4-5 hours! With more experience, the time would definitely be shorter but I had lots of fun tinkering with a simple program that i'm sure most have already had their hands on for, Picasa 3! It's great for beginners and can give you lots of effects and enhancements on your photos in a simple way. For me the main reason for editing, was to bring out the maximum potential of some of those photos which I knew would really bring a smile to people's faces. And sometimes, some photos just don't turn out as my retina sees them so editing really helps with that! :-)

We were bored..^.^

Top 3 Favorite Photos:

It's pretty hard to pick out favorite photos, because I basically fancy all the group photos and the photos where people are smiling! But here were some of the more random, non-roadtripper photo favorites. :-)

1. Trishaw (rickshaw) Uncle Taking a Break

2. Justice Statue
(Penang Court House)

Uncle Shielding Himself from the Morning Rays With his Umbrella
(Outside Banana backpacker hostel)

Final Night

On the last night, tired as we were I think we all didn't sleep because we much rather spend the time playing heart-attack. At one point, we even started playing "seeker" and I'm surprised we didn't get kicked out for the sheer amount of ruckus we caused when trying to "stealthily" jump from one bed to the other. Things ended with a rather touching heart-to-heart session with all of us saying our "farewell" words for Kelsey and Wai Weng who will be leaving us for Monash. The orange-dim light from the table lamp sure did set the mood of the conversation but I think enjoy listening to everyone's 2 cents for our departing ones. Unfortunately at that time, Fishe and Thalitha were consumed by their fatigued - so thri11ers do fill them in if they ask. It was a conversation that clarified doubts and also things off some peoples' chest but most importantly it brought a nice closure to the trip. I won't dwell on details seeing as it's not appropriate but it was a nice way to end things. :)

Final Group Photo
(KL Central)

I just have one final question.

"Where are we going next? ^.^ "

Happy 22nd Birthday Eldwin!

2011-01-26T02:29:00.001+08:00

I know this post is like 18 days overdue, but I thought I would just pen down some of my thoughts as I went through my birthday pics.

Pecan-covered Birthday Cake - Sinfully delicious. ;-)
(Thanks Melissa for choosing the flavour!)

How It Feels
Honestly, I feel the same. Sometimes I forget i'm 22 already and accidentally answer my age as 21. This may actually be a sign that i'm subconsciously trying to grasp on to my youth, but whatever. I still feel the same in the sense that its just another day of the calendar. I used to think it was special, my birthday a day that comes only once a year! But really, for me it was just a fantastic reason to celebrate and gather with all my friends that I care about. :-) I may be a year older, but not much has changed. I'm still me, ever-trying to improve my heavily flawed self and even though chronologically i'm older, I would like to think biologically (i.e. my mind) is still very much young and prepared to absorb every molecule of what is thrown my direction for all its good and to reject what is bad. I suppose some may argue biologically i'm becoming older too, which is true! But that's beside the point i'm trying to make. :-P

Rakib and I
(Best Friends for Life)

How it was Celebrated
Well my birthday fell on a Satuday and it happen to clash with the FWC 2011 conference that I attended, which spanned from 6-8th Jan 2011. By the time I reached back Vista, it was pretty much ~8PM and honestly I didn't plan on celebrating anything. All of my besties were back at their hometown and honestly I was just drained from the 3 days gospel conference. I was very happy that many friends did remember my birthday although I never put it up on Facebook. Heh, I think Facebook makes it too damn easy for people to remember. If your friends are going to remember they are going to do so without the help of a facebook. Agreed? :) Anyways, probably one of the most meaningful was one of my besties called me at the exact time that I was born instead of at the stroke of midnight. 4:07PM. Really made me smile. :) :)

Love Melo's typical expression!

So getting home, I was pleasantly surprised by Shiyan and we celebrated by having a "quiet" dinner at Chilis' and watched movies the whole night. Love the sweater by the way! (Totally what I was planning to buy!)

Shiyan and I

And of course during the course of the weekend, weird little remarks here and there via FB and SMSs really should have set an alarm that there was a surprise dinner the following Monday for me. But I was oblivious amidst everything, I account it to the fact that it was my recuperative period and reflective period over what transpired over that week. Initially, I thought it would be a small dinner with Geena, Rakib and Ruby which would have already made me more than happy. But, to my surprise there were more present and I guess the more the merrier actually passed successfully in this case! It wasn't too big of a group but just nice, almost every1 I hold close to my heart was there and it was great to just spend dinner with people that I cared about. It felt "right", free of complications, free of disputes, free of awkwardness, free of obligations. It was just good food, good company and unadulterated fun. It was pretty near perfect, the only thing missing would be a few other people that couldn't make it that day!

Looks yummy right? :-)

Wishes
Every year for the past 3 years I've made the same set of wishes. Yes, I know what you are thinking "wishes? Isn't one enough?" :-P I used to be superstitious and not tell anyone my wishes because I was brought up on the notion that it wouldn't become true if I did so, but to hell with that. I don't believe in that, in fact this is my "wish" each and every single day I wake up. So telling it wouldn't change anything. :-)

Blowing out the candles!

I wished that...
1. My family would continue to stay healthy, happy and prosperous. I really want to see them live a long and full life, who knows maybe even help me name their grandkids? ;-)
2. My friends would always know how much I appreciate and love them, because they do matter! I don't need to wish them all success, etc. because I know they will find it just fine without any help. :-P
3. *That I will continue faithfully learning God's word, reflecting on it and putting it into practice. Soli deo Gloria!

Disclaimer: Wishes are not in any particular order. The * just means it's something i've started to include this year. And hopefully for as long as I live.

Cake in the face! Any1 else for a facial? ;-)

DSLR or D-Cam?
Honestly, I don't know how I made it through 2 years of university life without my own proper camera. There are so many things happening! And, I want to be able to have photos to look back to remind me of the good memories because I've already accepted way long ago that my memory sucks (let along having photographic memory). So having a camera to freeze those particular moments only makes good sense! All this while I've been depending on Tay - "our friendly neighborhood photographer" ;-) and don't get me wrong I appreciate all the dedication and awesome pictures but he can't be my "life-support" when he leaves for PMS and I go to S'ban right?! The time to get a camera is now..;) *wink!*

SeXIest - Just check out all these sexy people!

Of course, as humans there usually always will be something we are eye-ing on. So for me, i've been debating in my head back and forth about whether or not to invest in a DSLR or a Digital camera (D-Cam). I've been trying to decide since the beginning of semester 4 (Aug 2010) and they both have their own pros and cons. I thought I was pretty set on getting the Canon S95, the best manual-setting digital camera (according to my photographer friends) but after testing out a DSLR for a full roadtrip (Penang 2011), it's re-captured my attention again. It's basically between these two for the time being, since it's within my budget. Shall continue my research on other DSLRs along the same price range. I'm just glad my mom and dad are willing to chip in for half of the price. :-)

Enjoyed each others' company until it was closing time! ^.^

Expression of Gratitude
I just wanted to take this chance to thank every1 for all their wishes and for all those that put so much effort into everything. If the intention was to make me feel special and happy on my birthday, it was well accomplished. And you know what? I appreciate every ounce of it all and even more than that i'm truly blessed to have you all in my life. I especially want to tell those close few to me that I love you guys to the max! Thank you for loving me and accepting me for who I am, offensive and stubborn as I may be at times. Guess ya'll defined the true meaning of friends better than I could put into words. :)

Group pics rock! :-)
(So much so that not even my layout can contain it!)

Gombak Hospital

2011-01-14T03:49:00.001+08:00

I had recently completed a hospital posting at Gombak Hospital for the duration of 3 days. 3 days is undoubtedly short, but it was enough to strike a chord of reflection within me. I believe to appreciate this post more, a brief background on the hospital and the Orang Asli would prove to be appropriate. :-)

(Boyce Avenue - Firework by Katy Perry) - Damn...they've done it again! :-)

Gombak Hospital & Orang Asli - Background

Gombak hospital is definitely one of a kind in Malaysia, a hospital established solely to cater for the health of the Aboriginals (i.e. "Orang Asli"). A brief history lesson would start back at the first millennium AD, when Indian traders, Malay Sultanates and British colonists forced the Orang Asli to retreat to the safe haven of the deep forests. It was there they were able to live free from slavery and there came a time where they played a role in combating against the communists in the jungle which secured their worthiness to be protected once Malaysia gained independence. (If you're interested to read MORE) So with that backdrop set, it's no surprise now that such a hospital does exist in Malaysia and the Orang Asli family members are provided with dorms during the duration of hospital stay (which is different!).

2011 - New Years!
(The fireworks I saw)

What I SAW

After hearing so many experiences that Rakib told me, I was pretty excited and totally looked forward to this Gombak exposure. I must say though our group had problems with punctuality, much so that it would affect our morning ward rounds. We were taught several things, from how to discern the minute pathologies within a CXR to a documentary on the traditional birthing process of an Orang Asli. If you have not seen the latter, I suggest you go check it out if you want to see a pregnant woman with an abnormally high threshold for pain. The bamboo knife used to cut the umbilical cord was an interesting extra to say the least! Among the actual cases that we were expected to encounter; TB and Leprosy were at the top of that list as those were diseases endemic to that region. I shall not bore you with the medical technicalities. What I eventually did end up facing was a patient with rheumatic heart disease and a 32-week pregnant Orang Asli woman. The latter was particularly interesting, because it was the first time I had the chance to personally conduct a physical examination on a gravid abdomen. So I proceeded with general inspection, then IPA (Inspection, Palpation, Auscultation) of the abdomen and came across a fungal nail infection on the right big toe, linea nigra and striae gravidarum. I also had the chance to use a Pinard stethoscope, and portable doppler probe on a real patient which was heaps fun! I ended the 3 day stint with an exploration of the handicraft shop and the famous Orang Asli museum which hailed visitors from as far as UK or Texas, USA. It was a great experience and though many found the attachment dull and breathless, if asked my opinion - I would definitely beg to differ!

Orang Asli Handicraft
(Bought the blue coin purse for RM4)

What I REALISED

When we go through a normal day, any day for that matter our brains are registering many things that we come across. However, our brain tends to put more focus on those particular details which we actually take part in (eg. talking to a patient, doing physical examination, trying to figure out the directions to Gombak Hospital, etc.) What happens to the remaining bulk of stimuli which we actually see, hear but at that particular time didn't really give much of a second thought? We forget them after some time, unless of course we take the time at the end of each day to reflect through some of those things. So when I was thinking back on the 3 days that had just passed, I realised something. The Orang Asli were remarkably content with their way of life. Aside from the ailments that they were facing, they were still considered pretty happy and complaining was not of their nature. Though, they are pretty much cut off from the modern world; they share just as many similarities as they do differences with us nevertheless:

Orang Asli Bow and Arrow
(Too bad its just for decoration..:P)

Similarities

Like us, when one of their own was hospitalised, the family would be there for them.

Like us, they loved their kids to bits and breastfed/comforted them as needed.

Like us, there were the shy ones and then there were the outright offensive ones.

Like us, they had their very own place which they could call "home".

Differences

Unlike us, their homes were usually deep in the jungles far from modern civilisation and far from any 7-11.

Unlike us, their bathrooms didn't have porcelain toilet bowls or even a water-heater.

Unlike us, they don't have F.O.S. or Top Shop or sometimes even underwear.

Unlike us, they saw a basic commodity such as electricity as something outright luxurious.

Complain. Complain.

Sure this compare-contrast activity could go on and on until tomorrow morning, but what's the point? The point is that even though they lacked so many of the comforts which we so often take for granted, they can still find peace and a sense of contentment with it all. Why is it that when we have so many things we still want to complain? I'm far from perfect and would be lying if I said I didn't complain from time to time. But really, what do I have that's even worth complaining about? It's not like I have to put physical effort and time to find a clean source of drinking water or worry about where I can take a shit in privacy out in the middle of the woods. No seriously. It is precisely because we are part of this post-modern society that we even whine and complain like we shouldn't. We all know too well the subliminal definitions of success that the mass media tries and is sometimes successful in painting in our minds. We are lead to believe that the standard stamp of success = BMW 5 series + 3-Story bungalow. However, the true seal of success is happiness and having loved ones around you to share that "happyness" with. Some may argue, "when I have that fancy car or condo, happiness will automatically follow suit". I ask you, what kind of happiness is based on materialism? The kind of superficial happiness that won't last long. Happiness should be based on something that will not waiver, it should be God-based (to make a long story short). Along with that, contentment with what you have been fortunate enough to have should also be taken into account. After all if you have happiness and contentment, what reason is left for you to complain? The next time you want to complain, take time to analyse why you are doing so and then go one step further and ask yourself what you have to be grateful for and then see if complaining still sits well with you.

Fellow Worker Conference (6-8th Jan 2011)
"Rediscovering the meaning of TRUTH"

How This Realisation Came About

An excerpt of the conversation that took place in my car which stimulated the entire train of thought:

E: Amazing...how even though the Orang Asli have so little, they can still be happy and content eh?

Girl: That's because unlike us, they don't know any better. They don't know something better out there exists.

I guess my thought was this. Just as we do know something better out there exists, we also do know something worse out there exists. So instead of taking the former and justifying our purpose of complaint/discontent, why not we take the latter and be grateful for whatever we do have to bring about content.

What I'm Grateful For..

I think it's important to every once in a while give appreciation to the things you are grateful for. You don't need Thanksgiving once a year to be a stimulus for that.

I'm grateful for YouTube and Sidereel, which entertains me in my times of boredom.

I'm grateful for my comfy room which often causes me to oversleep and be late for lectures.

I'm grateful for Shelby which lets me take my friends and I out to eat out rather than the diarrhoea-stalls.

I'm grateful for my Winnie the Pooh bolster, so I always have something to hug to sleep every night.

Melissa's Home-baked Cookies
"Simply the best damn cookies i've tasted. Thanks Mel! :)"

LOL...okay but all jokes aside, below are some of the more important things that I really am grateful for:

I'm grateful for the saving Gospel.

I'm grateful for my family who loves me no matter how many times I fail.

I'm grateful for my close friends who still accept me even after I speak hurtful things.

I'm grateful for my physical, mental and emotional health which allows me to be prepared every day I wake.

Conclusion

I hope that the next time I even think of complaining, I remember what I reflected and wrote about in this post. And since I have shared with you some of the funny/more serious things that I'm grateful for, I would love if you guys could share via comment what are some of the things in YOUR life that you are grateful for! It can be ANYTHING, funny, stupid, emo, serious as long as it's GENUINE - let's start practicing how to be grateful rather always complaining. :-)

Gombak Hospital Attachment - Group G (Jan 2011)
(What an experience!)

2011

2010-12-31T17:37:00.000+08:00

As the year of 2010 draws to an end, 2011 is waiting just around the corner to take its place.

Falling Stars - David Archuleta

2012 - Jay Sean feat. Nicki Minaj

Am I excited?
Honestly, for me it is more or less just like any other day but it does give a great excuse to gather with friends and celebrate. ;-) For though I know most of them will have it in their minds to usher in the new year - i'm celebrating another great year that has come to pass. And to be frank, lately I've been starting to become a been nostalgic; a bit more than I'd like to admit so myself. It's hard to come to terms, that I've only one more semester before every one disperses to their clinical schools (more so for my friends doing PMS). I find myself awake in my bed every morning and laying there for 20-30 minutes sometimes just reflecting on all the great times I've had with them. Everything from the ups and downs to the stupid and utterly hilarious moments. I've just been so blessed to have a good circle of friends who I could trust my so many things with and it sucks because I don't want it to end.

Tay, Melo and I Showing Off Our Pistol-handling Skills Pre-Final Dawn Orientation
(January - 2010)

We'll all say we will keep in touch, but how many times have we heard or said that but actually kept to it? I mean the other party isn't entirely to blame because I find myself at fault too sometimes. But, keeping in touch is like a dance - "It Takes Two to Tango". And that means knowing when to put out that foot and also knowing that another foot will be put in its place when you withdraw it. Its perfectly coordinated and shows the mutual interest of both dancers to keep the flow of the dance (eg. friendship). Lest I start to sound overly-emo (might be too late), I want to share that I have realized to cherish every tick of the clock left with my friends. I guess it might sound harsh but let's just say that means focusing my time on my close circle of people who I can trust. So, am I excited? Nope, at least not for the New Year (for I know what is to come) but I am looking forward to spending this time with my friends as I was not able to return home this week due to other commitments. :-)

Co13ras and Co. - My 3rd Orientation
(February - 2010)

What is New Years to me?
New years has always been a day with a positive meaning. The name itself, "NEW year" suggests the turning of another leaf. Even the month of "January" which in English originally referred to "Janus" - the Roman God of gates which symbolized beginning (or end depending on how you look at it) supports the view. I always believed that if I ever want to change or improve something - it should never have to wait for a New Year to come. However, I realized that New Years still does give a sense of having a clean slate, a completely new canvas to either screw up (again) or to paint a beautiful new beginning - so for that I can understand why some see it as a time to finally stop wondering "what if" and finally get up and DO IT. But really, if we're honest to ourselves - we never really needed a "special" day of the year to motivate us to make a positive change. After all, the year is made up of 365 days and EVERY day we are grateful to be alive should be more than enough motivation. :-)

Putrajaya Annual Hot-air Balloon Fest
(March - 2010)

Nevertheless, the end of the year does not ever fail to stimulate several thoughts in my head. It's always the same questions and probably most of you have it similarly as well.

What have I accomplished this year?
What have I learned?
What were my "remember when.." moments?
What were my mistakes?
What will I do differently next year?

etc. etc. all these pop in and more and it always gave me delicious food for thought.

IMU CF Camp (Bruga Hills) - The Truth That Transforms
(April - 2010)

Highlights of 2010
There are so many things I would like to talk about, but I suppose one of the functions of the blog would already help me out with this. Ahh...where to start?

Me, Rubs, Evonne, Mae Yee
(May - 2010)

It was the year I FIRST,
- accepted Jesus into my life and became a Christian
- learned how to swim
- went to an island (i.e. Pulau Perhentian) roadtrip with nothing planned but a bus ticket TO
- wore a fully-body gorilla costume to Midvalley/Gardens
- subsequently got kicked out of a shopping complex by mall security using force
- went to an Indian wedding (thanks Tej) and went crazy on the dance floor
- hid in a box which I made myself to "surprise" a friend on her birthday (sorry Joyce - haha)
- participated in IMU's edition of Amazing Race (i.e. Amazing Craze) and get lost with Tay
- flew a kite in Malaysia and got it stuck in a tree at Putrajaya Hot-Air Balloon Fiesta
- performed on stage at Acoustic Night (was sooo nervous)
- drew my first syringe (6ml) of blood from Melody and Melissa
- placed a 6m long boa constrictor on my shoulder
- attended the full 1 week funeral procession of my Aunt who passed away from Breast Cancer (miss you Auntie Ah Ee)
- did hospital attachments (eg. KKB, Gombak, Hospital Selayang)
- enjoy the panoramic view at the top of KL tower and even spotted Savanah!
- climbed all 272 steps to enter Batu Caves and almost get attacked by monkeys (let's go again Melo!)
- woke up at 6AM to go watch the Merdeka Parade at the National Sports Stadium with Tay and Peggy
- won Gold for bowling in IMU cup and made a new personal record of 187
- took part in football, basketball and track and field (4X100m and 200m) - sprinting is so not for me!
- discovered how much fun it is to make birthday cards
- had someone break into my car and steal everything only to realize it was a blessing in disguise
- became a spy in orientation to re-live my sem 1 days
- gave a lecture to my own lecturer (thank you AMSA!)
- wakeboarding and so many more!

11A Gang at KKB Hospital Rotations
(June - 2010)

It was another year of firsts and I'm grateful for every second of it I was able to share with my family or friends. And it totally helps to organize all my photos according to months then subcategorised them into events. :-) It's part of the reason why i'm thinking of investing in a point-and-shoot camera, namely the Canon S95 very soon!

Rakib's Birthday Dinner at Chili's
(July - 2010)

New Years Resolutions - Last Year (2010)
When I was thinking of the outline of this post, I have to admit I was apprehensive and at the same time very interested to look back at the resolutions I made last year. It is probably because I'm pretty sure I didn't accomplish all the things I set out to do, but let's take a look back 1 year ago and see what has transpired since then. *i'm looking forward to this*.

"So my official New Years Resolutions are:-
(accurate to the date of publishing)

- Do well in Med School (GPA 3.5-4.0)
- Continue exercising 1 hour daily
- Improve my chinese
- Create a medical blog"

Excerpt from last year's New Year post.

Well I have to say, digging up these old resolutions did bring make me smile for a sec. :-)

Thri11ers and Co. - 4th Orientation
(August - 2010)

1) Check. I have had times where I seriously didn't know how I would maintain my results because of what I found myself in. But, by God's grace I've maintained my results and it's not the best out there - but it's enough to satisfy me. And besides, I've slowly come to terms that though results are important in letting you know how well you know the lecture notes - it does not mean the world, not to me anymore. But, nothing's wrong with putting your best foot forward in exams! :-)

Rakib, Me, tay and Heshan on the Ferry to Pulau Perhentian
(September - 2010)

2) I have been exercising like a mad fellow this holidays and it always seems that around exam times, i'm unable to maintain such a rigorous exercise schedule and have to reduce it to once a week. However, 1 hour a day seems to be really unrealistic! So, I know have replaced that thought with exercising cardio (eg. jogging, swimming, badminton) and weight-training (eg. gym) on alternate days but yet be flexible enough to allow my body to rest when needed or just when it is highly hectic during that day. I try not to let myself take a break for more than 3 days though, or else I start to feel sluggish...cheers for exercise! It's a lot of fun. ;-)

M109 at IMU CUP
(October - 2010)

3) "Improve Chinese"..of all things right? Haha, well being that I will be heading to Seremban clinical school in half a year's time. I figure the least I should be able to converse in is Mandarin and Bahasa Melayu. So, though I've improved insignificantly little - I look forward to this time NEXT year when I can say i've improved with confidence. Yay!

Melissa Wong's 21st Birthday Out by the Balloon Tree
(November - 2010)

4) I completely failed to even start in creating a medical blog. I first had the thought to summarize very briefly and in a simple manner of the topics I would come to study in med school. But, it would be far too time-consuming and honestly it would not really be bringing anything new that books already had so perfectly summarized. Lots of great review books, USMLE: First-aid and Crash-course Series which gave a great summary on all medical topics. So, lost the urge to proceed on with the initial plan. Hey, it happens - no biggie. :-P

Kluang Rail Coffee
(December - 2010)

New Years Resolutions - This Year (2011)
So what promises do I want to make to myself this year? Like I said, I don't really fancy the idea of making "resolutions" solely due to the fact its New Years. I believe, once you have an idea or inspiration to make a resolution; think clearly on WHY you want to do it and then on HOW to do it and then take progressive steps each day after that to accomplish what you set out to do.

But, it doesn't mean I can't share the resolutions which I'm undertaking now right? ;-)

1) Learn more about God's word and pray that He helps me put it into practice.

2) Spend more time with family to slowly build the bond & relationship with them that I've always wanted.

3) Show my friends how much I appreciate them and continue creating more memories.

4) Maintain my exercise schedule and HOPEFULLY improve my diet.

5) Clear up any remaining turmoil before they leave for PMS.

6) Maintain my academic standard and start studying for USMLE in semester 6.

7) Better maintain my blog and hopefully share more photos taken by myself.

So, yes here they are my current goals - thought specific details are ever-changing to accommodate the current situation. The general gist is there and I will work towards it and for some is actually a lifestyle on its own that I want to keep to.

With that, I want to wish everyone...

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011

MAY THIS YEAR BE THE YEAR YOU FIND WHAT YOU ALL LOOK FOR. :-)

The Wake-boarding Experience

2010-12-26T09:06:00.000+08:00

Besides sky diving and bungee jumping, another thing I always wanted to give a try was wake-boarding! If you don't know what that is, it's basically when a boat pulls you via a rope which you are holding on to and you literally "surf" the waves created by the boat itself! :-) I will admit, I thought it looked easy at first but boy was I wrong. It's not a tall-friendly sport nor is it easy on the joints of your knees so I had both factors against me, but it was superbly fun and for such a great price! RM40 from RM125 for training from the instructor and then 30 minutes of time on the water...:-) Kudos to Melody for finding out about this awesome discount and inviting us: Jia Wei, Rakib, Amanda Liew, Wei Rong, Tej, herself and I.

Left to Right (Jia Wei, Amanda, Me, Rakib, Tej, Melo, Wei Rong)

Wake-boarding Technique
During training, we were taught the very basics needed to get up on the wake-board to start off. After all no point doing jumps or any tricks if you can't even get up in the first place. :-P So yeah, the technique was to let the boat do all the work and leave your arm in a fixed gripping position (making sure you are not pulling yourself up with your arm strength). We are supposed to keep our knees in and crouch as far down as possible for stability and to lower our centre of gravity. So once the boat is moving and your are being pulled along the waters seamlessly, you slowly stand up with the ball of your foot and only using your leg muscles until you are fully erect and then you slightly tilt your dominant hip forward to initiate the proper stance. LOL...but let's just say I was not as good as Melody or Wei Rong... you can check out the video below!

Wake-boarding - Long Rope

So you can actually see in the video that I manage to stabilize the crouching position. But as the guy signaled for me that its time to stand up, I tried my best to balance but somehow I always relied on my arms. I could feel a lot of force on my knees which made it difficult to depend all on my legs only and that's when...I WIPED OUT. Haha.. so this went on for about half an hour and it was a gradual process. First, he put us on the pole, then short rope and finally long rope. :-)

Verdict

Left to Right (Wei Rong, Danny, Oliver, Me, Tej) - First Boat to Go!

I never got to successfully ride the waves in a fully erect position, but the rush was great! And honestly, for RM125 it is not worth it...but for RM40 it was more than what I would have expected. However, if you want to give it a try for the first time, RM125 seems reasonable. If anyone is interested you can go check it out for yourself at the Mines Resort City just beside the Wellness Hotel. And want to know how to get discounts like this and more? Well, there is this awesome site that Melo introduced to me - so now i'm introducing it to you all! Check it out HERE, and sign up through that link - LOL then both YOU and I can get a RM2 token. Mutualism rocks! :-)

December - Another Month To Remember (Part 2/2)

2010-12-25T02:04:00.004+08:00

Back! Before I continue on with the final part of my December highlights, I would like to wish everyone a...

Merry CHRISTmas!

May every one spend this time well with family and friends. I sincerely wish you all an enjoyable holiday for you and your family and may God bless you abundantly as He sees fit. :-)

So, at the moment a few songs haven been stuck in my head for the past week. I've been rocking these 3 songs on my Sony Mp3 player set on REPEAT, so here they are - maybe you will find it as soothing as I do. ^.^

Try - Asher Book

Iris - Goo Goo Dolls (Kurt's cover)

Feel Again - Taio Cruz

***

AMSA Inaugural Anatomy Workshop (11 Dec 2010)

AMSA Pre-event Briefing
(Senate Room)

The 2nd week of December was like a rat-race with myself. That entire week was filled with meetings, projects and deadlines and then the "Slow Dance" poem suddenly struck a cord with my memory. With that, I took a deep breath and kept in mind that there was no point if all that busy-ness was the "whole point". If you are going to get involved in a lot of things, it's fine - but have fun with it or what is the point?

Presenting Team - IMU
Left to Right (Szeyi, Steph, Me, Farook, Mel Ng)

There were 3 roles to choose from during this event:

1) Presenter

2) Anatomy Quiz

3) Spectator

Stage Fright? Fret Not!

The first two choices really attracted me, so I decided to go for it. Each group was given a trigger (a case) and we would have to give a full-blown presentation the said topic to our colleagues and to our fellow lecturers as well. I got to experience one day as a "Professor of Anatomy" and it was no easy task. After the work was divided amongst ourselves, research began on the way and I already knew I wanted to make the lecture funny, concise and straight to the clinical relevance. Going up to present, I was not scared - somehow stage fright has officially become a problem of the past for me. For this i'm grateful. :-) For this division, we managed to get 1st runner-up which was a surprise because we really only finished our slides a few hours beforehand. :-) But it was a real interesting experience, after all how many chances do you get to give your lecturers a lecture? Not every day! And, I also enjoyed meeting new people from other medical schools (eg. UPM, USM, MAHSA, UKM, MMC).

Me Starting Off the Presentation

Flunking Anatomy Quiz

Next session was the anatomy quiz which I found to be slightly unfair because it was all tested on CNS and MSK, both of which IMU students only learn in 3rd year so we were sitting for an exam which we never ever learned its topics. Basically we were screwed from the beginning. But it was fun sitting there and getting a sneak preview of what was in store for us come semester 5! I think learning the muscles would be fun indeed since one of my hobbies is gyming. Anyways, congratulations to Manipal who won the quiz and presentation section. :-)

Posing With Our Certs
(I JUST Woke Up in This Pic)

Language Selective - Humanities Course

After semester 3, we are to do a 3 week ELECTIVE course (hospital attachment) and then came semester 4, where we were required to choose from 4 available options for our SELECTIVE.

1. Psychology

2. Community Medicine - Occupational Medicine

3. Language - Health-related Media

4. Human Anatomy

"Friends"
by Eldwin

Selective - Obvious Choice

Initially, after I scanned through the four options and read its brief outline of what to expect - my decision was to choose between Language and Human Anatomy. The first two options didn't really appeal to me because psychology was nothing more than behavioural science (which we did before) and occupational medicine is one of the most dull specialties I have ever had the chance to experience during my postings. So which would it be option 3 or 4? It took me like 10 minutes to actually think through and decide but I finally settled with Language. Human anatomy would be helpful in the future and especially since IMU students are known for their Pathology (NOT Anatomy) that it would be good early exposure. But, see that was it - EARLY exposure. Eventually we would go through that and learn it in clinical school during surgical postings on at least in semester 5 and so it would be easier initially only, but the learning curve is not very steep for anatomy. Language on the other hand was filled with role playing, blogging, online forums, analyzing media and its implications, advertisements and presentations. It was all sorts of things which I really liked and being in medical school didn't really get much to explore. So, why not? Why not exercise a completely different area of my brain. I know I can understand, I know I can memorize facts - but sheesh give that shit a rest Eld, you just finished summative 4, I guess I realized that I needed a break from it all. So the choice came naturally albeit delayed. :-)

"Drugs"
by Eldwin

Expectations Fulfilled

Throughout the 3 weeks of Language, it was just as expected - I had a lot of fun with each and every activity that Miss Sheeba threw at us. It was fun, it let us allow our creative juices to flow - hell at times it felt like orientation! Going along the way, I got to learn more about certain batchmates of mine whom I was lucky enough to be in a group with. I really enjoy getting to know new people, it never ceases to amaze me how different every1's life story is. Every one has stories to tell and experiences to share, it is just whether or not they are willing to tell you and you are willing to listen is all. :-) On top of that, I also got to pick up basic Adobe Photoshop skills which I learned primarily through the help of Tay Yao Zong (thanks buddy!) and randomly clicking with a basic idea of how it worked beforehand. In fact all the pictures you see in this section of the post are all pics taken by me and edited by me - so hope you all like it!

"Smoking Kills"
by Eldwin

Language Blog - Here You Are!

And the ultimate project at the end of the 3 weeks was to accumulate all the knowledge we had learned about media influence techniques and use the media to our advantage for the purpose of health promotion. Pathos, Logos, Ethos were the basic ingredients of our blog which we were tasked to create (target audience: teenagers) plus a little bit of on-the-spot ideas from the whole group and viola....what do you get?

Teenage Advisor
(a place for teens by "teens")

Click on the link above to check out our blog. Thought created initially for academic purposes, it is still a blog we poured hours of finger sweat and thousands of mouse clicks to put together. So please support us by telling friends (esp. teenagers) and clicking that "like" button on our FB page if you like our page and find it helpful. It is our hope it does help teens out there who happen to stumble upon the blog. :-) Okay saved, the last pic which is my FAVORITE pic that I edited for the very end.

"True Love"
by Eldwin

And of course, credits have to go to Joe for he directed and edited the video which was intended to promote abstinence from sex.

SAM Clan Reunion (16 Dec 2010)

Last week, some of my college friends and I met up for a short reunion! It was great to meet up with old friends and even my ex-roommate. Spent hours catching up and was utterly happy that even after so much time apart we were still able to click and chat with each other like nobody's business! For that, I decided to write a short excerpt on it and shall then conclude with this happy group picture! :-)

SAM Clan '08
Left to Right (Cheng, Rachelle, Rubs, Kai Xin, Jia Huey, Chicco, Me)

Coming Soon:

1. Wakeboarding - Mines Resort City

2. Gombak Hospital Rotations - The Orang Asli Story

December - Another Month To Remember (Part 1/2)

2010-12-22T01:48:00.002+08:00

Hello Bloggie! :-)

"OH HOW I'VE MISSED THIS BLOG... THIS MONTH."

Well, no point getting all gushy and "touchy-feely" here. My absence this month has not been without a good cause. I've been so packed this month, that holidays don't really seem as free as it should be. But, I welcome the busy-ness with open arms! It's been great this holiday, to be able to have time to reignite my hobbies as well as pick up a few new ones. Honestly, i'm not really one that fancies blogging solely about events, but these are some of the experiences I would love to take note of. I'm pretty certain that I will look back and smile at this post one day - so here goes nothing! :-)

***
Kluang Road Trip (3-5th Dec 2010)

Definition of "Road Trip"

*whispers* "...ROAD TRIP..."
Come on, a road trip during holidays? How can I say no! Count me in for that shit, when I heard Tay was planning a small 2D1N road trip to his hometown of Kluang - I was excited! It fell in accordance with the one road trip per semester quota which I have been trying to keep up with and it was a really good excuse to check out Tay's nice 3-story Bungalow house! (No Tay, that is not an average-sized house - no matter how much you say it is).

Tay Yao Zong's House - Big right? :-)

The 2 days were great. Kluang is a small, quaint town. It actually reminded me a lot of Seremban, but yes it became mainly a food tour. One awesome advantage about this small town was that food there was really cheap, RM2.50 for "wan tan mee". I hardly ever encounter such cheap prices nowadays! We also tried out the food at the famous Kluang Rail Coffee and the train station. The coffee indeed tasted nice, but I'm not much of a coffee person so didn't think I really did it much justice. Besides eating and eating, we explored the Kluang mall, hiking, karaoke-ing and just enjoyed the company of one another at his house watching movies. I love his huge TV and his comprehensive collection of movies! Among the most memorable things that we did at his place was playing this game called "seeker" and pulling off an EPIC prank on the girls.

Kluang RailCoffee - Actually woke up at 9AM for it! :-)

"Seeker" is a really fun game which I used to play as a kid. It where you designate one seeker (or 2) and blindfold that person. A small location is decided on and boundaries set and every one else basically have to practice their stealth skills to evade and remain elusive to the seeker. Meanwhile, the seeker must use his sense of feel and hearing to the max to tag the others. The first to be tagged becomes the next round's seeker - and here's the catch; you're allowed to mislead the seeker so that he/she tags your other friends trying to escape. Give it a shot, we all got a big kick out of it. Haha, young adults re-living their childhood past times!

Me as the "Seeker" - Just look at how many hid behind me! :-P

And, how could we forget the epic faking of a break-in. James and I went upstairs to chat with the girls to avoid raising suspicions. Dicky's job - create burglary sounds. Tay and Aishan's job - pretend to drive out and then come back switch off the main power switch and activate the house alarm. In the pitch black atmosphere, all the girls were freaking out while James and I played "macho guys" and acted in defense of the girls. I asked, "hand me a weapon girls, I need to protect us from the intruder". And sure enough the first thing that ended up in the palm of my hand was a clothes hanger *sweat* then --> water bottle --> and finally a metal rod from the closet! Sure enough, if that was a real incident - I do believe we would have been screwed given the initial choice of weaponry. :-P

Here are some of the group pics! :-)

Group Pic - Kluang Rail Coffee

Tay's Living Room

Group Pic - Hiking!

***
IMU CF Christmas Event

This year, IMU CF planned an afternoon and evening itinerary for this Christmas event. The theme was entitled "Happy Birthday Jesus". A less conventional but more meaningful direction instead of "Merry X-mas!" Although Dec 25th is not the true date of birth of Jesus Christ, it has everything to do with Him. The true meaning of Christmas has become not just diluted but warped into a commercialized holiday filled with Christmas stocking, turkey, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, Santa Claus, Christmas trees, snow and presents! There really is nothing wrong with all these things I suppose, but at the same time Christmas should serve as a massive reminder of the greatest gift of all. Iphone 4? Nikon DSLR? Nope, the gift of Jesus Christ and the message of salvation He brings for all those who believe! The greatest gift of all and yet we do not deserve it at all. It is only by His grace that we are saved and for that we owe our lives to him. It reminds us of what one of the prophets said,

Christmas Event - Afternoon Session with Carol Group

"...come, let us walk in the light of the Lord"

- Isaiah 2:5

Christmas Event - Evening Sesion

***
I'm getting tired! That shall be it for tonight, will continue the 2nd and last part of this post tomorrow!

(COMING SOON)

AMSA Inaugural Anatomy Workshop
Language Selective
Sam CLAN reunion

Growing Both Closer and Further

2010-12-01T03:12:00.002+08:00

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Growing up, we meet many people from all walks of life. Those we click with and those we just simply cannot get along with. However, it is those you hit it off with and flow with the best - the ones which become good friends and sometimes even "best friends". Those that share many of your interests and favorite topics of discussion; those that are willing to come out in the middle of the night because your aunt passed away and needed some one to talk to. A best friend that would experience all the ups and downs with you and accept you as their friend even with all your annoying habits and seemingly distasteful choice of clothes. No, what this friend had was a mutual understanding she shared with you about lie and that there are other things in life than the latest gadgets, studies or partying at the club. It was a friendship that noticed the beauty of the simple things of just lazying around in the common room doing nothing but rotting together.

Be The Friend You Are Looking For
(Eldwin 2010)

No matter how good of friends you are with that person, differences existed in both personalities. Differences, nevertheless which found an odd harmonious complement to each other. Arguments happen with every one, and it does not exclude your best friend. However, arguments with best friend never goes as easy as other normal arguments. More feelings are at stake for both parties and it is ALWAYS more painful than anticipated. But, what I discovered last year was that the arguments and the pain brought with them were nothing compared to the pain I felt as my best friend and I grew apart. It was like tearing apart two pieces of paper which had been glued together - the separation is never smooth, there is always some part of you that you leave with best friend as you grow further apart. A distance which increased inch by inch, further apart each day. It was a gradual process like a boulder slowly eroding over time from the force of the waterfall from above. It happened unintentionally and to some extent unknowingly. However, when notice was finally taken - the effect was evident. Friends do not always grow closer more often than none they grow apart eventually.

"All Friends are Replaceable if Necessary" - Including Yourself

It is this feeling that is the saddening truth I've had to come to accept. Though it is sad, the time spent with them is a memory I cherish and would not trade. It is a memory I hope won't fade away in the same manner.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

At the beginning of my language selective today, we were given 15 minutes to write an essay about "A Challenging Experience With a Friend". I figured, since I already wrote it - there would be no harm in posting it on my blog. Maybe even the friend who I wrote this about would stumble upon and read this and realise how much "best friend" ~~meant~~ means to me.

3rd Year Medical Student

2010-11-26T15:07:00.001+08:00

It's crazy.

But, here I am officially a 3rd-year medical student. Every year, medical tertiary education institutions churn out thousands of medical graduates on an annual basis with the aim to quench the ever increasing thirst for more doctors. The aim is to decrease the patient population:doctor ratio - but we rarely ever take into account those 15-20% of students who don't make it through medical school and drop out. I just found out recently a friend of mine failing the resit for his 1st professional exam and now after 120K gone, has nothing to show for it and finds himself lost. It's sad indeed and I will pray for my friend that he find new direction in his life and also focus on what little remnants of good is left. However, this has reminded me to be grateful of the journey traveled thus far. It's nothing to be boasting about but instead be happy about and appreciative that i've been able to make it to this point and hopefully beyond much further.

The Journey Thus Far
It's funny because thinking back, I can still remember vividly filling out the application form --> interview --> receiving the offer letter --> walking through those glass doors and taking the medical student's oath --> 1st year --> 2nd year and now finally 3rd year. It's been a great journey of growth so far both intellectually and emotionally and I only find it fit to attribute it to God, all my wonderful close friends and family members. I don't know how it is in other medical universities but if any one every thought that to be a medical student, you would have to marry your Nettler's Anatomy textbook or Guyton Physiology textbook - you're WRONG. I thought entering med school, I would have to become a total bookworm to cope and that the environment would be as such but boy was I wrong. Coming to med school, I've met many amazing people along the way. Those that were inspiring as well as those that I couldn't get along with (though tried) - but among those that impressed me the most were those who among the hectic lifestyle of a medical student, still managed to maintain a connection to the outside world and to conserve relationships which were dear to them.

Something I Would Have Changed...
I wish I could include myself in this category - but I cannot. Like EVERY ONE, I tripped, I fell, I bruised myself up, I got up and recovered - just to repeat the whole cycle again. I appreciate the great friendships which I have made so far - many I know are friends whom I will keep in touch with even after entering the clinical phase. But, what does persist in the back of my mind - is the thought about the friends whom I have grown apart and lost a close relationship with. I can waste time with the what-if's - but it's utterly pointless. It's a problem due to my own accord but it's not lack of effort to mend the wound.

" Sometimes, when you cut deep enough - it DOESN'T heal"

..But Accepted That I Can't
We make mistakes, we learn from them. But sometimes, it's just a fact of life. You don't get a second chance - hell be thankful you even had a first chance (would have been nice if I realised this sooner). It's sad, but it won't change the way I will act towards them. I can be pityful, remorseful or get straight down to drawing "enemy lines". But, it's a useless way of expending energy. Instead, I have chosen to accept it for what it is and move on. We all have to move on eventually, I only wish more people wouldn't hold on to grudges. Like my mom used to say:

" You don't have to like every one, but you can still be nice to them."

On the bright side..
I'm happy to still be able to genuinely say that I love studying medicine! :-) They always say, in first year - you learn the basics and get used to the medical jargon. In second year, it's when you are exposed to the actual clinical theory aspect of medicine with CSU, Hospital Postings, Government/Private Clinic visits and are expected to be at the level capable of giving differential diagnosis and treatment/management. However, each semester is a new frontier - filled with a new system of the amazing human body we are prompted to explore and submerge ourselves in. Here's the beautiful thing I love about medicine, you're really able to appreciate the complexities yet simplicity of the human body - so beautifully engineered. From the very essence of it all with DNA (codon-triplet pairs) to cells to tissues to organs, systems and finally YOU and ME. It's really times like this I think, who else but God could have created us all? I'm indeed excited and amped up with what I have been privileged to learn so far, but what excites me more is what there is to learn next! As I learn more, I do not grow in arrogance but instead I grow in humility - realizing just how little I know - which drives me to chase for knowledge even more. For those struggling to stay motivated, a word of advice - remember why you joined medicine in the first place and remember why you still wake up each and every morning. In fact, this is applicable to all:

" Having Dreams Doesn't Mean You're Childish,
It Just Shows That You Haven't Forgotten Them."

Slow Dance

2010-11-15T02:10:00.002+08:00

Some1 sent me this email the other day, I finally got to reading it and it hit close to home. It was something I could relate to - a bit more than I would like to admit. Its something most of us know, yet need to be reminded of sometimes.

***

This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a
New York Hospital.

It was sent
by a medical doctor.

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Smell the Roses
(Image from http://frugaldad.com/2008/06/09/live-frugal-but-stop-to-smell-the-roses/)

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,'Hi'
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last..

When you run
so fast to get some where You
miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry
through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

***
It's a nice reminder to spread to those who needs to hear this.
I would think that's the main reason this girl wrote this poem.

Thank you for this reminder.

You Decide How You End Your Day

2010-11-13T03:28:00.001+08:00

Waking up this morning, I was pretty astonished at the fact that I slept from 1030PM - 830AM. Today started off slow and was 'one of those days' where things just seemed to go crappy in more ways than one. But, when you ever feel down remember really the only way you can go from there is up. :-) It's these days, you appreciate the simple good things in your life - and it could be as routine as a good conversation you have in the car with a friend while trapped in jam.

Life is short enough ain't it? Carpe Diem, my dear Watson, Carpe Diem.

Credits all to the owner of the above blog. Go check it out! :

Remember when life hands you a lemon - what do you do? Make lemonade.

Love

2010-11-06T01:53:00.002+08:00

"Love", a topic we all either know too well or at least wish to come to terms with eventually in life. It's a topic that is so omnipresent in our lives - we need to only open our eyes and we can see evidence (or lack of) in the world. Everyone has their own understanding and "theory" to this idea of love and we act in abidance accordingly. I write this to proclaim my thought on the above-mentioned title and in no way claim that it is the right way nor is it suitable for all. I hope reader(s) will read this in the neutral tone in which I have intended it for. However, I've reflected heavily enough to conclude as of this point in time - that this is my view on LOVE FOR YOUR LIFE PARTNER.

(And just for kicks you will notice random photos from last week interspersed between paragraphs to keep you awake) – LOL.

My Halloween Costume - Gorilla!

As we grow up, our definition morphs gradually towards a more mature understanding of love. It changes from loving someone because it satisfies our heart’s desires to loving someone in a manner that incorporates both parties’ interest as its centrality. However, even the latter shows its weakness over time (as explained later). Due to pop-culture and great influence from the movies – it is not uncommon to see perceptions of love that is based primarily on semantics and cliché lines. Love as you will, is seen more than ever as a feeling – an emotion; a surge of adrenaline accompanied by palpitations or this unrealistic expectation of love at first sight. I’ve been through a few relationships and it is a fact I am not proud of – I am always happy and sometimes even find myself envious of those who were able to find the “right one” on their first try. It’s a luxury that not all of us have to experience – especially not for me. Through the relationships though – much effort, time and feelings were invested and initially was not appreciated during the aftermath. I eventually came to realise though, it was not all forsaken – it has shaped my train of thought on relationships today.

Foundation – The Fundamental Aspect

Firstly, I realised relationships nowadays seemed to be based on superficial grounds. In the past, I admit my lack of foresight indeed led me to fall into this trap during my first relationship. You see, like any beautiful structure – every structure is unique with its own contours, window panel designs, colour of paint, etc. However, even the most magnificent structure would crumble to pieces if not built on a stable foundation. Be dubious even with a seemingly sound base, because if it were not to fall down after time has elapsed – a small earthquake (eg. incident, argument, jealousy, grudges) could bring it down to the ground. Don’t take my word for it – look around and see it for yourself, as I have experienced it. One common mistake is to base a relationship purely on feelings alone. That rush, that excitement that you get when you are in each others’ presence. Whether this feeling be hormonal or experiential, it is never one that lasts. Feelings can be so temporary, imagine a change in your mood or feeling in a matter of seconds. For instance, to have the best day of the week and find out your closest auntie just passed away from stage 4 breast ca or to genuinely believe you know some1 and love her with yr greatest capacity at that given level of understanding and finding out that she has been cheating on you both physically and emotionally while you were with her. If you think that is the necessary requisite for the stable base of a relationship – fine, but that is most definitely not what I search for. For if this is your definition of love, then how shall you differentiate it from “affection”? Now do not misconstrue my words, for I do see its importance – just in a different role which is definitely not the base (which you will see later).

I adore my PBL mates - You guys rocks! :-)

Instead the foundation of the relationship I wish to have is a God-centred one. A conjugation of two people (male and female) under God with its centrality focused on the gospel. For everything else changes, one thing that will always be there and remain constant is God. This means also that my partner will have to not just learn but understand why it is necessary she places her love for God above me. This is simple, for I am so erred and sinful. I can be egocentric, stubborn and make mistakes compared to God who is all great and perfect in every aspect. How could she not love God more than me? A girl, who suggests she can love me without needing to love God, is one who does not understand the important foundation which I search for nor is she rational biblically. And, if this is the case then – how can I love her, for I do love God and so should the girl that I look for to spend my life with, growing to love God and one another. In addition to this, there exists the ever-so practical aspect as well. Becoming a Christian was the last thing I would have expected to happen to me in 2010 but it has and with it a renewal of the mind by the Holy Spirit. I have this burning desire to learn more about God’s word and it has become a rather huge part of my life. I wish to have a life partner which I can learn and grow in the word together with – and so then how could I do that with a girl whom I am unable to share this large part of myself with? Essentially, someone who would never understand such a huge part of me, no matter how hard she tries – am I to become two persons split internally then, one for God and one for her? No. This is as plain as I can make it to be.

Mutual Understanding

(a) With this stable foundation described above, we can now proceed onto the next aspect of love which includes this mutual understanding. To a certain extent, if the girl and I are able to agree on the foundation of our relationship this shows a level of mutual understanding in itself. However, with the strong foundation laid down – I can now consider different aspects beyond the base never forgetting the base nonetheless. I believe when I get together with a girl, it should be a synergistic combination not an additive one and certainly not an antagonistic one. We may be strong in different aspects but it really does not matter so long as we can learn from each other and are able to grow respectively. This means to have at least similar levels of maturity or intelligence so we may converse at a productive level and in it also continue to grow in our love for one another. It is the essence of every healthy relationship to have these constituents which allow both people to maximize their potential and to blossom as human beings.

The new "Lady GaGa" - Rakib Screwing Around With Clarissa's Wig

(b) With this mutual understanding, a similar passion should be derived as well, a desire to see what the world has to show. The world is bustling with countless cultures, flavours, destinations, melting pot of different races and x number of activities to be done. It is an awesome world that God has created and is only justifiably experienced and enjoyed with a partner in which to share those experiences with. The girl I spend the rest of my life with should share this same secondary desire in her so that we may enjoy life’s journey through mountains and troughs.

Witik Trying Pan Mee For The 1st Time! - Rakib's Polish Friend

(c) Like always, there is a practical aspect to be brought into consideration as well i.e. financial aspect. I do not believe in paying for my girl friend’s every meal at this stage. I am a student, which means I am not spending money that is mine but given to me by my parents. My parents work hard for the huge amount of money spent on my education, rental, bills, clothes, food, allowance and the money allocated for me is slightly more than enough to spend for myself let alone doubling the costs by paying for another girl. Thus, going Dutch would be the best way and to be fair, even if I was a girl or had a daughter for that matter of fact I would never teach my daughter to depend on others for money especially at the level of a student. With that said, I do still think it is fine to pay for special occasions (eg. birthdays, anniversaries) or simply from time to time so long as it is not on a day-to-day basis which becomes unpractical. After all, the girl I would want would not be one who does not understand this burden that I speak of.

Gladiator Ring Outside Times Square

(d) Lastly, the understanding of the seriousness I take in a relationship is not one to be begotten. I believe if you are to date a girl, you are essentially evaluating whether or not there is potential that you will marry this girl (should she have you). It makes no sense to waste time, money, effort and resources on a girl you see no future with. But, it is precisely this analysis which could prove to be a lengthy process – but if this is a matter of deciding who you want to spend your whole life with, some extra time invested is not unreasonable so long as the intention is kept clear. Knowing whether or not this is the girl I can marry essentially boils down to knowing what you want in a girl. The clearer you know this, the easier making this discernment comes to be. You see ask any1 what they look for in their mate, and they will give you answers such as “caring”, “funny”, “compatible” and so on. But as such, more often than none we end up with someone who we totally didn’t ever intend to look for. Why? Because, we are unsure of what we want – and because essentially the characteristics you thought were important are not! If they were really that important, you would not be able to bear being with that person – that is how I know my criteria shall not fail me because of vagueness or irrelevance. I want a girl that is Christian and shares the mutual understanding that has been described. When she has this, loving her will follow naturally and so will all the semantics and feelings flow in accordance. See now that the feeling shouldn’t be the basis but rather the natural result. And the beautiful thing is, for her to have these criteria would mean loving me would flow naturally as well. The difference is this love is unlike the love mentioned in the first paragraph, it is true love and carries the weight of the idea as it should be taken, which is not lightly. So what if I am asked whether or not I believe that there is only one person out there for me? My answer would be no. Because my love is not based on a storybook love, it is a sustainable love which is healthy as it is special and so long as the girl genuinely has the criteria mentioned – why could I not love her? Why could I not be married to a girl like that? Of course, once you have committed to a woman – you stay committed and this search for a mate comes to a halt as cheating is never to be condoned.

Happy Birthday Mae Yee! :)

If then a relationship was born based on the description above, I have found what I am looking for. The product would be a relationship that I believe would be strong enough to withstand any tornados or hurricanes that comes at it. With a strong foundation and mutual understanding in the various aspects discussed it’s like fortifying the already strong concrete with embedded steel wires. It definitely would be a relationship that I’m confident and more than willing to commit in. It would be a relationship that I would think has the best chance of surviving any large hurdles for example a long-distance relationship. The only reason I would delay the use of the word “love” or officialising a relationship would be because I still do not see these criteria fulfilled. But, it is at the same time precisely the fact that I am willing to take such deep consideration, it should show you just how much you mean to me.

Boyce Avenue - Just The Way You Are (Bruno Mars)

Semester 4 - The Road So Far

2010-10-26T23:32:00.000+08:00

It's funny. I really still can't believe I'm in semester 4. Its hardly enough to be considered a milestone (by far) but i've appreciated the new experiences and challenges that God has thrown my way. I greet each stumbling block as I'm ready for the next one and savour each memory as if it were my last. It is no doubt that of all 5 semesters, semester 4 would be the one that is the most slack. We were "forewarned" by our seniors and it was with that I had enough confidence to put my full self into two of the biggest events for me this semester: Orientation and IMU Cup. I thought I knew what I was getting myself into but as usual I had no idea. Guess the "unexpected" bit made it a lot more interesting in that sense.

Alex, Me and Chua
During IMU Cup Closing Ceremony

Orientation was a blast! A blast enough to blow me almost entirely away, as I sacrificed many things to play the role which I volunteered for and it was clearly documented in my Espionage Diaries. After orientation was the annual IMU Cup - the dubbed "Olympics of IMU" and indeed with the competitive atmosphere permeating the corridors and sport fields throughout Bukit Jalil/Sri Petaling - it was contagious for many. Including for.. *raises hand*. Last year, in semester 2 - I virtually didn't join IMU Cup except for bowling. But, I had set my mind that I wanted to be as involved in IMU Cup as possible as it would be my last. So, I joined: bowling, basketball, football, track and field. And it was great fun, nearly every evening was taken up by sport practices - I learned many things. I learned I can bowl well, but definitely can't sprint if my life depended on it. I joked about how my clan "oui" would probably be extinct now if I was placed back in the prehistoric ages with sabre-toothed tigers roaming wildly among their territories. In the end Taurus, came up as the IMU Cup champions and indeed I have to salute Jia Wei and Tej for all their dedication, hard work and also effort in inspiring as many house members as possible to support their house. All this is quite insignificant in the big picture, zoom out - 1 year later - 2 years later - or heck even 5 years later - it will be but a speck of memory on a dusty photo album. But, I will have no regrets because I knew coming into semester 4 - these two things I definitely couldn't just let slide by without involvement.

IMU Cup Champion - Taurus

Even with all that going on, I desperately tried to manage time between all these things and God, family, friends, studies and having some "Eldwin time". It was a task which proved to be way tougher than it sounded and I have to be honest - I fumbled the ball on trying to manage. I was still going to church on the weekends, be it membership or service which either way ate up a good majority of my weekend. My parents were getting pretty fed up of never having had seen me for many weeks at a time even sometimes as much as a month. I had less time for certain friends that though remained important to me just seemed to always have a mismatch of timetables. And of course studies lagged behind - notes piling up day after day without miss, PBLs left incomplete, CSU sessions improperly prepared for. My way of compensation was to sacrifice precious sleeping time after midnight at McD's in an attempt to buffer at least slightly my increasing workload. It was Busy with a capital "B" and towards the end I really couldn't wait to just hit back the books again and slowly get all other aspects of my life back into clearer perspective. After even the closing ceremony of IMU Cup, the week was disrupted as I scrambled to make special and celebrate 2 of my friends' birthdays which I consider dearly.

Studying - Catching up @ Mcd

It was that following weekend, I went back home and greeted by the fresh aroma of my mom's curry chicken which stimulated my olfactory receptors at almost the exact instance I walked in - I knew I was back at my home base. That night I spent laying in my bed - not sleeping but thinking. Thinking of how to fix the situation which I got myself into. It seemed as if I lose sight again of priorities. Part of why I wrote it on my wall in a pathetic attempt to remind myself. (More on this in the following paragraph) I had decided that for the topic of family, I had to make it a point to come back at least every alternate week. Even if i'm busy and it may not seem "worth it" to travel down just for one night. But that one dinner makes a huge world of difference, at least i'm there. At least, i'm present and honestly what is the point of having a car if i'm not to use it to return home on a regular basis to spend time with the folks? Is it to drive my friends out to JoJo or to drive the study group out to McD at odd hours of the night? Hell no. There is nothing wrong with all those things - mistake me not. But, if I can do all this - then what say of me if I can't even drive down to S'ban to see my family. Along with that I wanted to start at least calling them every once in a while to see how they are doing. These small things do matter! Family - check. Friends - friends whom I find myself so grateful having and sometimes feel undeserving to have at the same time. They are patient with me, my circle of trust that I don't have to worry about - and always puts up with all my crap. I love them all to death, I really do. And if I didn't make it clear before - I do so now. I knew, I had to reconnect with my close friends which I somehow have been MIA-ing in their lives the past 2 months. Friends - check. Studies themselves too were shit beyond shit. I honestly don't understand the logic or motive of many people out there who claim not to study when they in fact do. And honestly, I don't care. Leave it be to their "kiasu-ness" or utter lack of understanding of a pure and genuine quest for knowledge - which keep in mind you CHOSE to step foot in. Your own choice - and to show reluctance in studying shows either you're lying or you're contradictory to your motive of choosing this path. Don't get it? It was all already blogged about in the past:

Kiasu http://eldwinoui.blogspot.com/2010/02/kiasu.html

So, yes I lie not when I say I am behind in notes. If I say I didn't study - I mean it. So having said that, I remember clearly being behind 20+ notes and I knew that the first thing I had to do was reduce that number and catch up on CSU and PBL. Slowly, I did and as of last week - I am about 95% caught up with everything already. I was even able to start reading a little bit on USMLE (still long way to go). But yes, with that I can say Studies - check. As far as God, I never compromised on time being spent - still sermons and cell groups were regularly attended despite the hectic schedule. But, I realised recently the true importance of prayer - and with that realisation I knew I definitely wanted to spend more time doing so. Devotion time - as Christians call it. However, for this I dare not check as its a different thing altogether which I don't think it would ever be right to be content. (this could be an entire post on its own).

Hospital Gombak - Orang Asli Health Awareness Campaign
(25 - Oct - 2010)

So yes, going through all this - you can see why though many find semester 4 to be the slackest of all - I found myself the busiest of all 4 semesters I have gone through thus far. It was all of my own doing and I blame no1 for it nor do I regret. But, somehow feeling like I failed so miserably in balancing everything - really lead me to a realisation of my own weakness. I had it all set out in front of me - I had many responsibilities and yet I allowed myself to be completely sucked into current affairs that I had lost sight of my main priorities in life to a certain extent. I lost sight of my anchor in life. And how dangerous, because as you saw just as easily as these major events came and went - equally was the constant presence of God, family and friends which I failed to factor in sufficiently. It was my fault - and it really reinforced my initial acknowledgement of my need to improve my time-management. I've a long way to go - first step? Always remember your anchor. Without it, your boat of life will drift randomly about thinking it knows where it is headed but instead is greeted with the horizon on all ends.

Heshan and I - "Standing on Water" @ Perhentian Islands

And fast forward to the present. Things are slowly settling back down into the comfortable normal routine which I always seemed to take for granted. Randomly going out, chatting with friends - gyming/jogging/playing guitar - studying and enjoying it! - going back on alternate weekends to see family - church-ing and learning more of God's word - etc. It all slowly coming together - but indeed I have 2 problems that persist in the background which i'm trying to settle. Both of which are heavy and seriously taking a lot out of me. More on that later.

"Life hardly ever seems to be as simple as you wish it to be."

A View to Remind You When You Forget, That Life Can Be Simple.
(Perhentian Island - Raya Break - 2010)

Expect the Unexpected

2010-10-10T23:58:00.011+08:00

I realize its been rather long since my last post. This is definitely due to my problem - always telling myself I will blog "after I finish x number of notes", but funny enough x number of notes is rarely ever achieved to begin with. I also decided it was time for a new face lift on my blog - a change from the previous dark background to something more cheery! The banner was based on a pic which I took during the great times I had at Pulau Perhentian last Raya Break - slight editing done on the image using Picaso. Would be nice to get feedback! :-)

Alright, before continuing on with the main topic of this post - a sneak preview of topics (works-in-progress) you can be expecting to see soon:

Pulau Perhentian Adventures
Heart VS Mind
IMU Cup: Final Experience
Why Doctors End Up Hating Being Doctors
Long-Distance Relationships

As always, twitches might be made here and there.

Alright! On to the main topic of discussion for today.

The 2010 NIKE KL 10K Marathon

An easy sign up, with a registration fee of RM10. What do you get?
Well, a NIKE sports sling sack, NIKE dry-fit T-shirt, 50% Discount Coupon for any NIKE goods and a chance to run around the concrete jungle that is the heart of Kuala Lumpur. Definitely, one of the coolest runs I've gone on to date - a DTAG was given to us so that our runner's data (eg. speed, timing, etc.) could be recorded digitally and later posted on a website for us to check out! I've ran several 10KM marathons before, quarter marathons you could call them. However, I was looking forward especially for this one because I wanted to see if I could break my personal record of 65minutes for 10KM. After all the training I put towards IMU CUP Track and Field - I realise sprinting is definitely not my cup of 100plus and long-distance was probably more my kind of thing.

Running around some of the major urban KL buildings was definitely not something you get to do every day, ESPECIALLY with the onslaught of traffic on any normal given day. Starting off as usual, I waited for the crowd to slowly disperse until I had space to jog comfortably. It wasn't until the 5th kilometer that I really started feel the build-up of lactic acid. I continued pushing though until the 7th kilometer when it was going on an inclination of one of the highways which actually brought me to a fast walking pace. Going down hill though, I started increasing my stride to conserve energy and pretty soon I hit the 8KM mark - took a quick refreshing sip of water and was good to go for the last 2KM. The toughest part for me was not going up hill but going through the SMART tunnel at the 9th KM. It was stuffy as hell and the exhaust fumes of the congested traffic didn't make it any ease my hyperventilation any better. Feeling slightly dizzy, I pushed on and when I popped out the other end of the tunnel that gust of fresh hair smacked me in my face and woke me up from my groggy state instantaneously! The last 1KM, I pushed myself harder as I knew I was nearing the finish line and that much nearer to breaking my personal record. Crossing the finish line, I heaved a satisfactory sigh as I looked at my stopwatch, 53min:26secs. And viola, a new personal record was born. The next time I will try to get under 50mins...many people had way faster times than me but it didn't matter. This morning it was a competition against myself. :)

***
However, all that adrenaline-pumping excitement was eclipsed though by a break-in into my car. As I walked back to my car, post-race I heard a car alarm from the distance. Thinking "poor whoever owns that car"...little did I know, it was my own car. My trunk was left ajar and the keyhole had obviously been tampered with. Within the two hours the culprit had stolen my friend's bag and my bag too. Several mixed feelings surged through me as I reflected on this experience. Firstly, I felt slightly furious (a normal human emotion in this case) because in a theft, two things happen: something bad to the victim and something "good" to the thief. Honestly, the thought of that ticked me off - inside my bag were my notes, bills and most valuable wallet which had RM600+ (bills and allowance which i was supposed to deposit in the afternoon). Oh not to mention my credit card, debit card and touch n go card.

Secondly, it was not as much as the material things that I dreaded losing as it was the hassle I would have to go through to lodging a police report, applying for a new IC, Driver License, Debit Card, new wallet, blah blah blah. I would be lying if I said I was not materialistic to a certain extent (aren't most of us?), but the thing that really bummed me out was losing the money. Losing not MY money but my PARENTS' hard-earned $$$. They are already spending a small fortunate to put my brother and I through our degree course, so losing RM600 is no small deal. RM600 is a lot and I don't care if you convert it into Singaporean money or USD, i'm MALAYSIAN and my parents earn and spend in RINGGIT MALAYSIA - thus, it is a lot of money. And it just hurt because I feel i'm doing the worst job at reducing their burden. I really can't wait till the day when I start to earn my own money and slowly I can pay my parents back and even buy things for my parents that they always wish to have but put on hold for the time being. I really can't wait. In any case, I could let myself get severely depressed because of being robbed but Melissa (who lost her phone, wallet and car keys) and I decided to look at it as a costly lesson learned instead. People, don't think for a second your car is ever a safe haven to keep anything valuable - not even your trunk. Thieves aren't stupid, they know that you won't keep anything in the car but in the boot - "out of sight" as we always say. But now I learned, whatever you leave in your car you better be willing to lose it. Otherwise, carry it on you at all times. At the end of the day, I came to this conclusion. Take my parents' money, take my wallet, take my bag, take my student journal, take my notes, take what you may.

There is ONE thing the thief can NEVER take away from me and that is my God, Jesus Christ.

Can I get a Amen?

Espionage Diaries: Last Day

2010-09-06T00:56:00.007+08:00

As I woke up that Monday morning right before dresscode 2. I was a bottle of mixed emotions to say the least. I knew it was my very last day as a "junior" and somehow i've become accustomed to the role and adapted rather well. So well in fact, that sometimes I would act blur even when I didn't have to - which is a consequence of long-term role play. As the day progressed, I knew that the time was fast approaching when I had to reveal - it had only been 7 short days but somehow I felt I had forged a great bond with thri11ers and hell honestly I didn't feel any age gap though I was at least 2 years older than most of them in there. Probably due to my immaturity? Well, I really didn't know what to expect from the juniors' reactions - I knew some probably would feel betrayed *clarification* MOST would feel betrayed.

***
Highlights
***

1. Dresscode 2
Venue: LT2

Today's event was especially tricky. This was due to the fact that I was also the 'mystery judge' twinkles and since they were only going to reveal the spies after the first 4 trailers, I had to literally SMS my score of the trailers. Funny thing was the Emcee even mentioned to the audience that the mystery judge will be texting in the score - which put me on even further high alert as to avoid raising suspicions that I was a spy. After all, I had already come this far - I didn't want to be exposed prematurely due to a text! So discrete as I was, they didn't notice and even those sitting around me were already used to the fact that I was always on my phone - so no suspicions were raised - thankfully. When it came time to reveal, the emcee called nearly every spy up on the stage and told the audience it was due to violation of dresscode. Once they revealed that all the people on stage were in fact spies - a wave of shock and 'aw' overcame the room and my most prominent recollection was Jasmine's serious face (finding out about Clarissa) and Lee's disbelief (finding out about Rakib). At that time, the few that suspected me had their thoughts put to rest as they thought ALL spies had already been revealed. Until they said there was still one last spy, Lee picked up on me like a homing missile and pointed me out. Before most of the group could realise however, I stood up - took my outer shirt out to reveal my senior orientation T-shirt. Of course, it was symbolic for me - taking of that shirt was like taking off this huge weight I carried around on my shoulders, having to lie and feeling the burden of guilt of becoming close to the juniors only to reveal that I was not in their batch! I assumed my role as the judge and of course seeing Kelcey's reaction was amusing as I had dropped a few hints the night before to her and she had not the slightest clue. :)

After the night was wrapped up, I had mixed reviews - I had juniors say they felt betrayed, felt that I was a bad guy, said that i acted well bcoz i showed up for every event (totally intended), some expressed sadness because I wouldn't be in the same batch as them (and no matter how much you try their will always be that barrier because you are in different batches). Unfortunately, even my bro Chua shed some tears. Don't get me wrong, he is not a sissy or anything - definitely one of the coolest guys I have come to know. The kind of guy that is always there to boost people when they are down and full of vigor and excitement and laughter! The kind of guy who reminds me of my best friend back in college but somehow have grown apart. Well, when people msgd me telling me he weaped I felt extreme guilt but was fortunate enough to patch things up and now we call each other brothers. Funny enough, Peggy has also qualified to be his "sister" meaning that indirectly now Peggy would be my sister? Which I don't really mind - some reason we get along quite well, even though we just met 2 weeks earlier.

Ending thought for the spy experience:

This orientation was great. I had the experience of trying out to be a spy as well as an SM and after trying out every role, I can officially say being a spy is the best role ever. After 2 weeks of not studying resulted in me being behind in 3 PBL's, 1 CSU session, 16 lecture notes, 1 MMS and not to mention delaying the start of my USMLE study schedule; to revisit the carefree feeling that is sem1 and essentially getting a 2nd chance to redo somethings that I regretted was unlike the satisfaction I could have imagined. Sure, everything was temporary - but for that fortnight I was able to correct some of the mistakes I made during my first original orientation and the friends I made in this orientation made it all the more worth it. We might not have won 1st place during Finale Night - but our bond alone makes it feel like we won it all. (as quoted by Sanjay) And it all stemed back from sem1 when Jenan and Jer Ming inspired me to become a spy and I hope that I did the role justice and inspired some of the juniors to become a spy when their turn comes too. Once again, I apologize to any1 if I have offended you or overly betrayed your trust in any way. And as for all the guys I promised could come to my house when they transfer to S'ban, the offer and my kitchen offer still stands for as long as you guys remember it. :)

Though, hundreds of photos and multiple videos were taken throughout the orientation - this last one would have to be my favorite picture of all. The first thing that captured my attention was the genuine expression of happiness which projected from each and every person in this picture. The photo, a simple one taken at a time where we were all tired but for this millisecond it captured all that is positive about the orientation experience all in a 400kb file that is preserved for as long as your harddisk survives. But yes, looking through all the pics it made me feel nostalgic and thought I will still see you all around university - it is a chapter that has closed so that the next one can open. And just like any case, it's always hard to move on from a great chapter. It was this pure happiness which reminded me and inspired me that I should live each and every day as I did in orientation. Of course, let's be realistic - when it's time to study then study; but live every day as if you were meant to live it. I'm fortunate enough to have the life that I have and I can never express my humble gratitude to God for blessing me with my awareness of this gift bestowed upon me which i DO NOT deserve and I shall not waste it. I shall live every day just as it was intended for us to, to live without regret, to live with the people that we share care with and most importantly to never forget why it's important for us live this way each day we wake up and face a hoard of challenges that face us. It is this time that they say are the best years of our lives - I beg of myself to never forget this. Screw the negativity that always seems to pursue our lives and remain as positive as possible. After all, why focus on an ice cube when the iceberg is still awaiting for us? There is some food for thought.

Good night reader.

Espionage Diaries: Day 5

2010-08-30T00:12:00.001+08:00

5 days into this spy bit and each day is getting more interesting - no doubt. I notice several things happening now, not only is the bonding between juniors going splendid - juniors are starting to bond quite well with the seniors as well. Of coz, Lee and I personally love to bully Geena with "RUBBISH" or "U-TURN" but I've noticed also lots bonding between other parties which brings a smile to my face. :) Of course, what orientation would it be without its share fair of mild scandals to spice things up? Somehow the thri11ers have paired me up with one of the girls in the group, the group leader's almost-became-girlfriend girl being in the same batch and a unknown love between OO and junior is enough to excite any1! But hush hush - no more details beyond this, maybe it will be revealed in Viva next week. :-) More details on the development of this to come later in this post - let's begin with the highlights!

***
Highlights
***

1. Outdoor Treasure Hunt
Venue: Bukit Jalil Park

This has always been one of my favorite events during orientation beside variety night. Simply because I love the idea of running around the Bukit Jalil park with your group members, tired, sweaty and physically weakened though spirits still undeterred by any volume of sweat perspired. Not to mention the games being quite dirty this year around compared to the previous orientation - once again kudos to m209. So waking up was a problem for me this morning again, luckily for a wake up call i managed to make it in time before the event started. Playing several games which included everything from running around 2 laps while chanting the group cheer, doing 200 cumulative push-ups, taking my shirt off several times to be dirtied internally, hair soaked with some mystery concoction which hardened my hair better than any Gatsby Wax on the market. Basically, it was dirty - REAL dirty. But nothing especially special about any of the games which prompts me to elaborate - so rather I shall comment in general on the group. For this event, Wai Weng was unable to make it due to transport problems but Banu had no problem leading the group. The group's spirit was strong and motivated were the MIGHTY thri11ers! :) After finishing the outdoor treasure hunt, we waited for which seemed like forever for Alex to come back and return us our keys so that we can go back home to bathe. When he finally came, Chua, Sanjay, Lee, Yan Zheng and I went to shower off at the vista B poolside shower head and then jumped into the pool to swim a bit before getting ready to go out for lunch.

2. Carl's Jr for Lunch!
Venue: Sunway Pyramid

A few people during this time had to go back already. So finally we met up in front of jusco - Wai Weng, Chua and Yan Zheng came over to me and said they wanted to ask me some questions. Jit Tong and Selva had signaled to me and whispered to me that there is a scandal forming! Honestly, at this point I was pretty nervous - I thought they had began to suspect me of being a spy. Haha, well later on after reaching Carl's Jr. I clarified with both and confirmed it was actually a scandal involving me and some1 else *cough*. Anyways, I censored the name in case the person wouldn't like it - but i suppose after she reads this she will probably be able to figure it out anyways right? Anyways, Carl's Jr. in terms of discussing about track trip and dresscode 2 was a major failure. However, it was actually great and refreshing to just hang at Carl's Jr. for nearly 2.5 hours just chatting and laughing and getting to know each other better. Points don't matter - it's the relationships that we build from orientation that matters. It's odd because the type of relationship I'm building with some of the guys now feels different than the other juniors i've made friends with during orientation as an OO. Again, i just cannot stress how great the difference is. We always say "don't look at me as your senior but your friend" but it just doesn't ever actually materialise - I really recommend all to try out being a spy if you want to understand what I mean. However, being a spy is not all peachy - I will save this for the last post. That's it for today! Church took up my time from 8-12am. So, didn't manage to join them for the discussion about dresscode 2 or tracktrip. Looking forward to tomorrow's tracktrip which i missed the last orientation though! :)

Espionage Diaries: Day 4

2010-08-29T02:10:00.003+08:00

*Airplanes ring-tone*......"ahhhh......5 more mins" *hits the "snooze button"......

It was this alternating pattern of my phone's alarm going off and me hitting the snooze button so many times it's almost a learned reflex, which made me late for morning dance practice with the group. Like I said the night before, I had already set my mind on spending as much time as possible with the juniors today - after all it's only 3 more days until the revealing. I never believed in committing to something if you are not going to give it anything less than 200%. Mucho gracias to Jit Tong and Selva for being my eyes and ears for the past few days and helping me cover on several occasions. :) So, finally after supposedly having to be in front of LT3 at 8AM to practice the Dress Code dance routine - I reached quite close to 9AM (thanks to a timely phone call! ^.^)

No doubt my studies are pretty screwed at this point in time, but I knew that studies would definitely fall behind during my attempt to spy. Today, I hear news that our leader is unhappy with the disappearance of the 3 spies - but this shows that he still does not suspect us. :P But, in reality he doesn't know that i've sacrificed studying for CSU and preparing for PBL not to mention not memorizing a single lecture note yet, (btw the count now is up to 7). I'm not worried though, I found myself in worst holes before - back in sem 3 almost behind as much as 20 lectures! As for now, play hard and spy hard - that is my plan. :) Well, I suppose when the leader and whoever else wonders why we always FFK reads this they will understand?

Let's get started with the highlights baby!

***
Highlights
***

1. Full-out SPY for the day!

Just when I thought I was already sacrificing a lot. I figured just for one day to be an all out spy and live the day as a junior. Sure, you may ask - "what the hell have you been doing for the past 3 days yet?" Well, I will tell you one thing that I didn't do - I never went for any briefing nor did I go for First-Aid training with the juniors, but for today I thought why not live a little. So I went with the group for PPD: Time Management --> COP briefing --> First Aid Training: Part 2.

PPD was boring...I didn't pay attention at all - instead I was SMS'ing. At this point, I feel like such a bad example. Note to self: REMIND the juniors that going for lectures are always important and to not skip unless you ABSOLUTELY have to! Haha, thri11ers - just so you know, when you read this - know that I don't usually skip classes. I ESPECIALLY wouldn't miss PBL - but since I didn't have time to do it, I would rather skip than to show up and not be able to contribute. COP briefing was exactly that...BRIEF - Rakib in charge of F&B (dude.. curry puffs man..) and I am an assistant camera man for Chua! COP shall be fun...:)

First-aid training was rather interesting as well! If I wasn't careful this time, I could have easily had my cover blown and Chua would have found me out immediately. It was during the afternoon that things were especially stressful for me as I was skipping lectures (and yes the nerd inside of me didn't hesitate to pile up the guilt) meanwhile I knew I had a Debate Club Sr Farewell dinner that very evening and I was in charge of getting the customized T-shirts for them at Sunway Pyramid. Thank goodness for great friends Ruby, Geena, Mae Yee and Yvonne who helped me out of this pickle! :) Still, my excuse for all those consecutive phone calls was enough to cover for me! Haha, but I shall save the LIST OF EXCUSES USED for the last post - so my groupmates can come back and read when I was telling the truth and when I wasn't. :) Of course pretending that I already learned bandaging and human lifting techniques in high school sped things up quick enough! I'm proud to see Chua finally nail the tying of a Reeve Knot! Good job buddy...:) And funny as I had to pretend not to really know what I was doing - though I knew better than the trainers themselves.. but hey not perasan-ing or whatever. Back in sem 2 I sucked too. :P

2. Dress Code 1 Dance Preparation

Let's rewind back to the morning when I first arrived. Upon arrival I noticed every1 already practicing the dance moves, I reunited with the guys and they were more than patient enough to teach me the dance moves they had practiced thus far. *appreciates it!* : ) The girls were at the other side practicing their routines and the men practicing it not too far off. The boys picked up the moves fairly quickly and even Rakib managed to pick up to moves after coming even later than me! So practice and practice we did as practice makes perfect! I was quite pleased with the outcome, now during this entire time every1 remained enthusiastic and I particularly noticed than Lee could do the disco moves quite fluidly. Haha. I always felt I was born with two left feet especially when it comes to dancing but at least I didn't trip others around me this time? :P Sanjay was the centre for the Dhoom song and I feel it's the right time that he gets a first impression now. A guy who is a bit straightforward in the way he talks to the female OO's. Quite surprised when I first heard him talk that way to them (eg. Yee Ling, Shin Yi, Peggy, etc.) Haha..yes Sanjay I do take notice of these small things happening around me! Well, other than that I found him having a considerably shy phenotype in comparison to his speech - LOL I suppose he needs time to build up the confidence - but hey you can do it! Why do I say he is a bit shy? Come ask me - I can give you 3 good reasons. :)

And so we continued practicing our dance routines. The girls were great, super synchronized indeed! When it came to the part of the routine where it was boys and girls paired up - it was really fun! I can feel the bond between the group-mates becoming stronger and it was great to see that. I find myself also making good friends with Chua, Lee and Yan Zheng. Haha, no particular preference we all 4 just seemed to click instantly. So, yes! Back to the paired dance routine - I was paired with Kelsey, so let's do another first impression shall we! :-) Well, what can I say about this girl? She strikes me as def the girl next door type, grew up in a 'strict' Christian household and oh yes had mad skills on the piano! Somehow, I never get tired of watching those pianist play by ear, which definitely proves she is one of the more skilled grade 8 players. Some reason when I saw her play the Hey Soul Sista' in LT2 the other day she reminded me a bit of Wun Wun. And also a very nice gal that isn't afraid to stand up to some1 when they are being a pain in the a**. (sorry Joash. :P) Haha.. but yeah, this I should mention while I still remember it - Joash had just found out I was a spy so was 'ragging' me - it was hilarious to hear Kelsey tell him off by saying he shouldn't bully his junior. Haha..thanks for "saving me" that day...and also another set of kudos for waking me up this morning. :)

3. Dress Code 1
Venue: LT2

Overall impression of this orientations DC1 is good good good! I loved the clear comparison and display of scores for each performances and very little delays made the event a lot more enjoyable. Thus, far I would have to admit that though the theme for the M210 orientation is a bit sketchy - the organization and execution is near perfect. :) But yes, watching the first few performances it was funny to see although the order of the performances was random - it seemed to start off with the worst performance and gradually show improvement as the show went on! Haha, i have to put my hands together for the amazing work that thri11ers did though! Our group managed to get 2nd place for the night and received the only 9 the ENTIRE night. :) *thumbs up!* Although our eye-FML didn't make the cut - it's okay as he found himself having a fan outside of group 11 shouting "i love you Yan Zheng!". Haha...don't blush bro! Well, I had to admit the only part I felt a bit nervous was when the group right before us performed the same song with nearly the same moves as us! Of course, thri11ers did as what we do best - get out there and strut our stuff with full confidence and in my opinion totally set the standard up there. (:

4. After-show Yam Cha
Venue: Ajimal

Yam cha's are great. And without fail, thri11ers have gone out basically every night. All these late night meals - i'm just asking for GERD. Well anyways, I decided to blog about this Yam Cha and things got a little bit interesting this time around. Haha. Jit Tong "senior" explained to us the concept behind Viva (and no not the Peroduo Viva) but the bonding session which basically forms the glue between the members which will continue to bind members together even beyond orientation! :) We had a nice little trial with Yan Zheng and concluded who all the guys thought was the prettiest girl in thri11ers. Okay, mind you all girls have their own special look which makes them look nice - but it just happened that most of the guys agreed on ****** *cough*. Whoops..guess you will have to wait till Viva? :-) Okay, I shall take this time to do first impressions on another 2 girls - shall we?

Geetu , our fellow S'porean which is feisty to say the least! I have to say I quite like her facial expressions - it's cute! Haha...especially her reaction when her unintentional order of Melted Cheese Bread came instead of Roti Prata! Haha.. at least now you know how to order! : ) This girl gives me the impression that she definitely wouldn't hesitate to tell some1 off if they acted like an ASS but at the same time if you're nice she can probably be one of the best friends you will ever have. :P

Next up..

Mei Fong...a.k.a. FISHY...A Chui Ling/Siew See/Chelsea character who is super sporting and though she seems a bit shy when i talk to her at first i'm betting she is the type who wouldn't be able to stop talking once u get to know her! :) Haha...how was my driving on Saturday fishy? :P

Ending thought for the day:

Though day 3 I barely spent time with thri11ers, day 4 was the complete opposite. After having had spent nearly the entire day together - I'm getting closer to the juniors. They make me feel like i'm one of them and they see me as one of them. It's all part of being a spy yeah? But somehow, I feel a bit bad inside - i hope on the day of the reveal instead of looking at me as a senior, thri11ers will still be able to look at me as a friend! Being a senior is overrated! As for now, as I get closer to the group...I hope they will forgive me when I reveal myself on Monday..>.<... and trust me You won't want to miss that post! Let's see what's in store for us on day 5 shall we?

Espionage Diaries: Day 3

2010-08-28T03:01:00.005+08:00

It's now Thursday and I've officially made it nearly twice as long as most people expected to make it as a spy. I have to say, the power of spreading a simple msg via FB and a quick 15 seconds announcement to the batch is amazing. ;) I had a late start this morning waking up at nearly 10.15AM and by the time I ironed my clothes and showered I was late to CSU. First time this sem, still have 2 more strikes before I get a letter to the Dean - luckily orientation is only once a semester huh? That's what I get since I came back from Mc'D at 4AM the same morning, Tay, Peggy and I wanted to study. But seemed like the only person that made that time productive was Peggy (PIGGY), Tay and I kept dozing off and not before we treated ourselves to a McFlurry; which we had somehow convinced ourselves that would keep us awake. Biggest joke of the day! As it failed miserably. >.<>.< *** Highlights
***

1. Lunch with Lee
Venue: 4th floor

I received several miss calls and SMSes that morning. Of course, to my surprise Lee Heng actually accompanied me to tau pau some food and we managed to have a good solid conversation over my lunch. After the conversation, first impressions of Lee was that he is a innocent guy and also intelligent. I mean not many ppl can get 3A's and 1B for STPM after fooling around for the whole of lower 6. But more importantly, I found him to have a skill which I realized that I lack early this year i.e. being tactful. He was easy to talk to and he shared some of his past experiences which showed he places trust in me. :) Of course this is exactly what I anticipated in the previous post - as you get closer to the group, being a spy becomes harder. More on that later okay? *grins*

2. Excuses Galore!

Undoubtedly, today was one of the days which I had to make the most excuses to cover up my tracks as a spy. First for CSU, lectures, friendly football match and finally Joanne/Sooky's farewell. Of course, a very close call as I was running to lecture as I came out of the lift on the 3rd floor next to LT2 - I ran into Lee coming out from the bathroom. Of course, during this time I was supposed to be in Sunway - meeting my brother (LOL...cover for going to lectures in reality). Okay, I guess if it would be anyone that suspects me it would be him as of now. Anyways, because I was so packed this evening - unfortunately I couldn't join the group while they devised up of dance moves for dresscode 1. And yes, I felt bad! LOL... i mean what's the point of signing up as a spy if you are never there. In any case, this really couldn't be helped - and a farewell SeXIest cheer reminded me why it was all worth it again. Sure the Pan Mee sucked, but the company didn't and I have to say I sure will miss Joanne a lot after all she has done to shape my time at IMU into what it is now. She's had such a big impact on many ppl's lives and I hope she is happy knowing that she did make a difference in people's lives. :)

3. Near Misses Today

Somehow it's quite hard to not talk to you best friend like for example, Ruby. Pretending not to talk to her is like pretending not to bathe. Sure, you can go without it for 1 day maybe even 2 days but beyond that it just feels so damn weird. *True Fact* Of course, I said Ruby was my Pre-U mate and the most obvious sign that I was a spy was when Joanne came up to the group and Selva made it so obvious that Joanne wanted to talk to me. Thank you Joanne for the student journal! :) So also after making so many excuses and missing so many briefings - the juniors probably think i'm some lazy ass who can't wake up in the morning. :P

Ending thought for the day:

Not much to say in terms of the group as a whole. But today was the first day, I felt like I started building individual bonds with certain group-mates. I felt bad that I couldn't join them hardly at all, I shall make up for it tomorrow morning then when they meet to practice at 8AM. However, i'm glad things ended on such a good note with the whole gang and throwing a farewell hangout with Sooky and Joanne. Joanne don't cry! :(

I strongly believe in this:

A real friend never needs a proper goodbye,
Because a real friend instead says "see you soon".

Joanne, this goes out to you.

Espionage Diaries: Day 2

2010-08-28T00:56:00.006+08:00

Well it's been 2 day's now and I haven't touched any lecture notes. I feel guilty, but the reminder of the fact that Sem4 is so laid-back somehow subdues this guilt as I know deep down I was already expecting this when I got myself into this whole 'spy' business. No regrets thus far, but it is way too early to conclude anything. Didn't get to spend much time with the juniors during the morning and afternoon as I had basketball practice followed by a sem 3 OSCE feedback session in the morning. Then in the afternoon the juniors had the theoretical class for First Aid - which prompted me to skip it so I can go back and rest for a while then go for lectures. However, rather than suspect anything of my odd absence for the day - I think on the contrary they didn't notice, as it's still early in the week. :P So let's skip all this bull crap and move onto the indoor treasure hunt, shall we?

***
Highlights
***

1. Indoor Treasure Hunt
Venue: Entire IMU Building

Firstly, let me say that this indoor treasure hunt was one of the more fun ones i've participated in before. I love the idea of having an alphanumerical code to decipher and lead us to the location for the next clue which would lead us to a station which would then give us a bearing for us to use the compass to determine the direction of the next alphanumerical code and so on. Interesting idea, though the compass idea was slightly adapted from when my batch organized the orientation.

So, at this point - we finally have our group flag, which is nice and simple. Somehow a lightning bolt represents Thri11ers, but hey it looks pretty darn neat I have to say and seeing as it was completely done by the Seniors - I don't feel it's exactly right for me to say anything negative about it. But, seriously - it's a nice flag! And definitely, when I get the pictures downloaded and transferred to my laptop I shall update every post in this mini blogging series of mine with a multitude of photos. *Stay tuned* Throughout the Indoor Treasure Hunt, I realized that still our group cheer required practice as we lacked confidence during the cheer - but thri11ers are on their way! :)

As I continued today, I tried to get to know more about my group members (yes i do consider them group members and not just juniors! ^.^) Teamwork during treasure hunt was key and it was most definitely an event that really required the leader's cohesive attitude to bring the team one step closer to the end. Otherwise we would just be running around like chickens with their heads cut off. And although there were many interesting stations, two in particular stuck in my head as they both showed me something.

---
Rock, Paper, Scizzors like NEVER done before
---

This particular station was definitely the most fun to say honestly, basically a U-shaped arrangement of about 20 chairs were made. And 2 players start from opposite ends and have to move their butt from chair to adjacent chair (no butt surfing!) and when they reach at a certain point, they play RPS. The winner would proceed on and loser would leave the 'arena' and whoever would make it through to the other end would win. :) It was even more interesting as it pitted juniors against the seniors, however we probably won't be seeing that game anymore as a few people got injured after falling off the chair! And unfortunately, an accident had to strike our group too (touch wood) - Jasmine had a soft tissue injury after falling down quite hard. And though she even had to go to the clinic the next morning to get it wrapped - today she showed me great team spirit when she insisted she do something (even if it was mundane) as she wanted to help the group even though she was injured. Kudos to her for being so high-spirited, really gave me a further good impression of her. :)

---
To Differentiate WHO is in it for the TEAM or for THEMSELVES
---

One of my favorite station which without fail is always present at every indoor treasure hunt, is Keen Wai's station. One of the most team spirited and probably selfless person I know in my batch. This station takes place beside LT3 on the 4th floor in the corridor along the way to the toilets. The game is simple, blindfold every single junior and lead them in a single file into the dark abyss with them faced forward to the locker and having no proper sense of their surroundings other than audition (hearing). The task was simple, ask a question in which the juniors will definitely fail to give a satisfactory answer and thus ask which junior wants to take the punishment for the team. The punishment being 'hit' and of course no1 ever had a hand laid on them but it was a simple test to see who were the cowards and who were the team players. Of course usually, in all past groups - every1 always raised their hands but I was a bit disappointed to hear from the station masters that not every1 had raised their arm. Sure, no1 was ever at risk of real, organic pain but hell the way Keen Wai was whacking the lockers and shouting like an army general - what junior wouldn't have the slightest ounce of hesitation in their musculoskeletal reflex?

More importantly, it was the thought - that even though they might have felt scared or intimidated - that was entirely besides the point. When you friend is in need of assistance, we must brave our fears and put that behind us. So, though I do not know exactly who didn't raise their hands - i'm sure that will become clear as orientation elapses. >.< --- More First Impressions
---

Continuing with my first impressions of my group-mates as this day slowly came to a close. Yan Zheng, our eye-FML, known in the group as the athletic one. Today, basically felt that Wai Weng, he and I were runners for the evening - literally running to almost every station or clue. And realized though initially struck me as a bit shy and not-talkative, he just needed time to warm up to the group. Slowly, I am able to talk to him more and he actually talks back - I can feel he is coming out of his shell and at this point i'm excited to see how much further he will leave his shell behind as he grows into the role of our eye-FML. :)

Also, an rather unique category on its own is our very own Miss Clarissa Lo. Though she is my batch-mate, I never really had the opportunity to get to know her other than the occasional minimal dialogue of "hi-bye". So being a spy together in the same group for this orientation really gave us that chance - of course throughout the day we will randomly share our stories and hurdles and also weak attempts of giving excuses when lectures called for us (primarily me). I got to know that my first impression of her as being demure still seems as true as it was back in sem 2 when I first met her. Of course, 2 days is not much to judge on but hey this is about 'first' impressions yea? Give me a break. :) Also, Jasmine totally loves you (in a friend kind of way) - hehe she would only go on a yam cha with us if you are there! :P So I guess I can add 'making friends easily' to my "1st impression" of you too?

Okay, nice little interception there. Let's get back to another station that I have to blog about, otherwise I'd risk this entry becoming somewhat incomplete. :)

---
Charades NEVER Gets Old
---

Good old charades, a pastime which I used to play when I was in my younger teenage years at my friend's house - and tonight reminded me that it's a game I probably won't be outgrowing anytime soon. So, of course this version was slightly modified as all 'juniors' had to line up in a single file faced in front and the 1st person would be given the word to act out and the message would have to be reenacted almost 10-15 times before the person at the end of the line would have to make a guess at what those swinging arms and funny facial expressions meant. Much easier said than done - trust me. :) But, it was hilarious - see the beauty of this game is that it's nearly impossible to do it without a little help from the station commissioner as actions which would begin so clear would end up to be something so different than the initial clue. Example? Glad you asked - I was just going there. :)

(Mind you these were all according to what I would have guessed..:P)

Angel --> Buddha(?)
Spiderman --> fireworks/water sprinkler
"Nothing" hand action --> Punjabi dance move
Cow --> bull

and 1 last one, can't really recall at the moment. The actions themselves were funny enough, honestly - I should get the video from Sze Jun and post it when I have more time after orientation. The "Nothing" hand-sign will definitely be a great memory made vividly alive by our very own Shin Kitty. You rock girl...oh and I want you Saga SE. :) K, enough random talk!

Ending thought for the day:

After coming back from yam cha with the group and funnily having to pretend I don't know the way to Steven's Corner and having to have Geena lead my with U-turns and all - I am really getting settled into the role of the spy. Pretending to be blur has become somewhat second nature - and being in the role of the junior again really made me miss the great times of sem1 which seemed to blow right past me before I could even properly appreciate it. *good times* Somehow, I always knew that I prefer being an OO over being in the OC - but now being a spy, essentially being a junior again is refreshing and hands-down wins Eldwin's preference of role-play in orientation. This time around, I knew that I wanted to experience it from a different perspective - being the leader back in sem1 somehow, I felt that being so busy with the planning and organizing (thank goodness seniors helped me out so much), I somehow never got to stop and smell the roses. You know, get to know each and every member - because it was only after sem 1 that I even become so close to someone NOW, who I barely knew back during orientation.

More on that at the end of the series. The group is growing more and more each day in enthusiasm. Wai Weng and Banu continue to show awesome leadership, I have to say. And it's great because though they lead so well, I don't see them trying to force any particular opinion on the group - rather they are quite receptive and even responsive to suggestions and new ideas. :) *thumbs up* eh? Unfortunately, many travel and most girls still do not join us for the late-night yam chas which I think are important in bonding as well! We'll see how it goes throughout the week, as for now every1 seems to bring their own and offer something unique to the team. Functions of the group are still not clearly defined, but at least every1 is gun-hoe about orientation! The thri11ers are growing on me....and i'm pretty sure as this builds, spying shall become more difficult. Let's see how Thursday goes.

Espionage Diaries: Day 1

2010-08-25T10:53:00.007+08:00

As the M210 orientation finally dawned upon us, I thought it would be nice to write a daily diary of my FIRST time experience as a spy. So basically, a spy's job is simple. Infiltrate and be one with the juniors, essentially BE A JUNIOR for 1-2 weeks and attempt not to be exposed prematurely (after all where would be the fun then?) As I reminisce, it's amazing how I can still vividly recall myself being a fresh sem 1 student - coming into orientation with nothing more than with the spirit of wanting to tackle med school head on. Orientation definitely played a big role to shape the person I am today as well as create today's scenario - as back during my time, I still remember my two spies (Jer Ming and Jenan) who were great spies! So as the semesters passed, I went from junior --> Head OO --> Chief OO --> Spy (today). Of course, leading up to yesterday I knew how I wanted to play this out. I wanted to be as ME as possible without having to change my look or personality. I promised myself to be honest with them so long it doesn't expose my identity as I don't want them to look at me as a stranger after the day of revealing (which i'm heavily anticipating).

So how did the first day go?

Of course, I'm no Pierce Brosnan. As far as my cover story to compensate for my 1.5 years age gap - I apparently took a year off to travel and enjoy life before starting the arduous journey, that is medical school. My look as I said remained simple, myself and nothing fancy. After the briefing in LT3, Rakib (my accomplice) and I were distributed to group 11 where both of our acting skills were put to the test. Surprisingly, I didn't find it hard to pretend to be a junior - as i remained as 'me' as possible - except for occasional cover-ups and having to find excused to go off for PBL, lecture and a Volleyball match (later that night) it was relatively simple to orchestrate. It's funny as in my folder now, I hold both junior/senior timetables which i must cross-refer every single morning and plan out which corridors to walk down, which lifts to take, which sections/floors of the uni to completely avoid and even have a designated safe zone. Yes, thought was put into this however, probably the toughest thing for me thus far is that I find myself having to suppress certain parts of my personality. For instance, being overly enthusiastic or 'stimulating' situations when I feel things become too stagnant. LOL. Yes, indeed this has been one of the largest hurdles for me - because instead I emphasize on acting blur and nearly all suggestions I make I try to make it seem as if it's someone else who suggested. All in an attempt to build this aura of being slightly clueless and essentially it's great to exercise being a follower; as I've said before knowing how to follow is just as important as knowing how to lead, given a particular situation.

***
Highlights
***

1. Junior Senior Meeting Session
Venue: PBL Rooms

A round of introductions were given and quickly I began to feel more guilty about my semi-banana status as a Chinese. When an Indian/Malay girl(s) both said they could speak fluent Mandarin, but it too was good news as now I have more people to practice conversing with. :) After being through 3 orientations, I've seen good scenarios and bad scenarios when it came time for a leader to step up. The reason I say step up and not chosen is because it's important for the leader to be fearless in being initiative. This group had a slow start, with Jit Tong having to arbitrarily choose a leader at random and thus Wai Weng was made the leader and Banu as the assistant leader (who actually volunteered herself). *claps* :) The treasurer was Jasmine and her first impressions struck me as a nice, poised girl who I would definitely trust with my RM40. :P Early on, I introduced myself to Chua Chen Zhi and at first impressions he seemed very friendly so it seems we may gel well during the next 2 weeks. Although, the form of becoming the leader was not done in the ideal manner - there's the beauty of it all. It's times like this when those who never thought they could lead learn their potential or those that were initially shy were completely turned inside out and became outgoing. Thus far, I'm impressed with my leaders as both show capability and immense potential - no doubt I'm excited to see them grow and I hope even though they don't know - I help them out along the way as much as possible. :)

2. Group name/cheer/flag
Venue: Outside LT3/E-labs

Honestly, on the first day - this group in terms of coming up with above listed heading was the least prepared i've seen. Being group 11, we tried to incorporate that into the name and thus Syphi11x (?) was born. Of course, as 'memorable' as being named after an S.T.I. i'm quite glad that Thalitha took a bold act and proposed we ditched the name and switch to Thri11ers instead and thus putting our heads together (rakib, thalitha, amira, nyuk fei and myself) we came up with a 1st draft of our long cheer:

Thrillers x4
We have fun, we play hard
We're not one to disregard.
Get behind,
We're first in line.
Mighty Thrillers here we come!
Woah....THRILLERS!

So yes, the name and even the cheer was born. But ice breakers proved that our group cheer lacked both synchrony and practice. As far as the flag, we are supposed to do it Wednesday - so excited about that as well. :) Nothing is fixed, my mission along the course of this week is to slowly get to know the remaining group members which i've yet to. And yes maybe after orientation and they all read this - it will be a memorable view of their orientation from a spy's point of view. *double smiles for this* :) (:

3. Ice Breakers (Indoor/Outdoor)
Venue: Chancellor Hall/Sub-basement parking

Ice Breakers was the first true test of our team spirit. For the most part, i've observed that everyone is pretty united - considering it's only been one afternoon of being a group. Indoor ice breakers was the usual bomb game, though they changed the name this time around. Funny though, as I had to get up in front of the stage in a parody of Phua Chu Kang (?), minus the yellow boots and frizzy hair! I was more than happy to do it for the group though, overall first impressions really make me more enthusiastic about doing it - I have to admit. :) I missed the first 2 stations of the outdoor ice breakers playing volleyball for Taurus. No surprise we got out butts whooped considering they had a national volleyball player on Griffin's team. But kudos to them...as many of them were my batchmates! :) And as any other engine, you need to warm it up before it starts giving its maximum performance which was very much true in this case - as Thri11ers won the last 4/6 stations including all its respective cheer fights. Albeit it's not all about winning, it sure doesn't suck right to win? **HOOHAA** :)

Ending thought for the day:

During this whole day - i've been ragged several times by my own juniors/batchmates and even nearly exposed on 3 accounts! But I'm having so much fun!! :) Being an OO or in the OC is a different experience, but being a junior again and experiencing it first hand - an OO/OCM just can't compare. First day so far and i'm happy to be hearing all sorts of great news from my friends who are also spies and to be frank i'm happy with my group as well. ^.^ It's way too early to comment on much other than the fact that they have a good start! A pretty united team, however slightly less enthusiastic... I have full faith that their hidden potential is just waiting to be unleashed. And sometimes, things need a small push - a catalyst. That's where Rakib and I can hopefully help them build on - after all what are seniors for? :)

Electives - A Multitude of Reflections (part 1)

2010-08-15T13:09:00.015+08:00

No Sem 3 holiday break @ IMU would be complete, without electives. Back in the past, electives could be non-medical but for my batch it had to be medically-related. Sure, if it could be anything - it would be a great excuse just to go out and have fun - but I am overwhelmingly satisfied that it had to be medically related and below should clarify just why I say so.

Electives AKA hospital electives in my situation, sees its self taking root at Hospital Selayang - a government hospital just slightly North of the city centre nearby Batu Caves. An adventure that spans for 3 weeks (Aug. 2-20th) and included an eccentric bunch of people whom I'm blessed to have been able to share these experiences with:-

(Lee Wun's first day as an electives student & patient - thank God she was okay!)

*****
Rakib
Tay
Dicky
Shiong Qi
Jonathan
Teegeena
Melissa Wong
Melody
Wei-yee
Lee Wun
*****

During electives, of course we were greeted with "?-faces" as HOs, MOs, specialists, consultants and heads of departments found out we were only in our 2nd year. Literally, some even ask why we're even here because it's so early. But I suppose they overlooked the entire objective of being there in the first place - which was not to carry out medical procedures but observe and learn as much as we can about the hospital setting, the way a hospital is run and learn in so many other ways about life in general that even I found my self becoming addicted to.

(Scrubs - the dress code for entering to surgical halls)

My 1st week I was attached to the General Surgery department and the following 2nd/3rd week I was fortunate enough to be attached to the Hepatology department (which H. Selayang is famous for). Theoretically, it probably would've been more beneficial if I chose departments according to the 4 systems which I had already learned. But, practically it probably would've been more or less the same and even in retrospect i'm satisfied with the cards which I was dealt. So going into electives, i'm going to be honest - i was pretty damn excited to watch my first surgery LIVE and not from YouTube. I was looking forward to meeting new people and making new friends as well! I'm grateful we had a lot of nice general surgeons happily answering any questions we had about the operational procedures (OP) and literally on some day we would be standing up for many hours on end but somehow time seemed to pass by very quickly during surgery. OPs were great and we managed to see quite a lot of cases, my favorite would probably be either the right mastectomy and axillary drainage to remove a stage 2 breast carcinoma or the laparoscopic cholecystectomy done to remove a gall bladder which actually had many stones formed within it. The Oxford Handbook of Clinical Medicine proved to be amazingly useful these past 2 weeks as well! IMU students probably feel more excited to see a surgery simply because
we have no cadavers to dissect and explore. >.<"

(This random sketch I did was of the busy scene of the hepatobiliary OT)

Surgeries were fun but I found interacting with patients and the doctors to be that much more fun and even sometimes reflective and inspirational.

Let me elaborate.

--------------------
Blazing Courage
--------------------

Last week, a small group of us had wandered curiously into the Burn Victims Department during our break. Sure, we thought it was going to be just like visiting any other ward until we met the youngest patient in the entire ward. Since we have to uphold 'patient confidentiality', let's call her "Sarah" then shall we? As we walked into her room and the Medical Officer (MO) on duty introduced her to us. The first thought that raced across my mind was how did a 16 year old precious young girl such as this end up suffering severe 2nd degree burns on both legs and arms. Even her face was left scarred by the fiery incident that set ablaze just several days prior that day. As she chatted with us, she shared with her the incident of what had happened. She narrated that one day her neighbor's house caught on fire - she probably first noticed the smoke pouring out of the windows but after having called for the fire brigade she couldn't just sit back and watch her neighbor being cooked alive. She bravely without hesitation ran into the house in an invasive attempt to rescue her neighbor. Try as she might she didn't manage to save her neighbor that day and from looking at her burns she probably barely made it out of there with her own life. But the inspiring thing here is that at 16 years old, a teenager she displayed amazing courage that could be comparable to even firefighters. Her act not only showed her true character but it was obvious enough as around her neighborhood she was known as a "Heroine".

(I recalled this image when I met and heard this girl's narration)

But here is the thing, as inspiring as the story was it all really began to sink it when I left her room and realized something. From the second we walked in until the time when the door closed shut as we left - she was smiling the whole time. Even as she narrated the unfortunate incident of losing her neighbor and enduring painful burns over her entire body she remained as positive as ever - continuing to smile. Sure, deep down inside she may not be smiling - but I believe that even after all she went through she has a strong spirit that can serve as a great reminder that we should mimic that sort of courage in our everyday lives. It doesn't mean we have to run into a blazing house to save some1, however in a broader perspective perhaps if we can reflect on this it will help us remember that life really is precious and wasting it would be a shame. So long as we live, we should live life and go all the way and fear not whatever obstacle stands in our way be it fire or something more figuratively. We should all look at ourselves in the mirror just as this cat in the pic above does and just as so beautifully illustrated by the admirable little girl who demonstrated her "blazing courage".

--------------------

Above was probably one of the more powerful reflections for me last week, however there were simply too many things to fit all in one post - so i will continue the second part of my reflections on the next post. And remember when I said electives was rarely ever dull? Well if I didn't i'm saying it now, because one other thing happened last week to me. While my friends and I were at the Radiology department (please differentiate between radiologist and radiographer!), I was lucky to meet Dr Rizal - a friendly doctor who was kind enough to teach us the basics of an US (ultrasound). When you get into the details it's pretty obvious why it takes 4 years to specialize as a radiologist but for our level we just wanted to familiar ourselves with the basics. So i volunteered to be the SP (simulated patient) for the US demonstration. A quick look at my liver, gallbladder, small and large intestine and prostate proved to be normal as expected. It was when they moved to my right kidney (and funny enough this was the only time I couldn't really get a proper view of the monitor because i had to rotate away for him to place the probe) - he found an "abnormality". Of course, I was quite shocked when he told me I had a fairly large kidney stone (nephrolithiasis) lodged at the upper pole of my right kidney!

(My KUB X-Ray)

After the US, Dr. Rizal had me get a KUB (Kidney-Ureter-Bladder) X-ray done to confirm and indeed it was a kidney stone measuring 5mm. Which is probably why it couldn't pass through the ureter as the diameter of the ureter is usually ~3mm. As for now, my kidney stone is asymptomatic which means I don't feel the characteristic unbearable renal colic pain which it's usually associated with but as for now I'm advised to watch my diet and also drink 3L of water a day. Double of which i'm used to, so lesson of the day? Don't ever think you're too young or that diseases can't happen to you. It can and nowadays diseases are being found in younger and younger patients! It's definitely young to have a renal stone at the age of 21 yrs however what's ironic is my best friend had a renal stone just 2 months back! And it's probably no coincidence that our diet is both more or less the same. In any case, yesterday I managed to book an appointment with a Urologist, Dr Siti this coming Tues, 8AM. So she will run some tests and see if she can figure out what's the most probable reason i formed a kidney stone in the first place. :)

Interesting past 2 weeks to say the least!